Dear Fellow Home Educators,
It is on my heart that we parents who are already used to working with our littles from home need to be mindful of how we support our public school peers during the COVID-19 school closings. It is no small thing to suddenly find the full weight of your child's education dropped in your lap. A few points to remember:
- We had the privilege of choice: each of us consciously decided to try home education. Some driving core belief backed that decision.
- In most cases, we had the benefit of forethought. Most of us had time between our decision and day one of school.
- We are familiar with the curriculum. We researched painstakingly, taking our time to choose what we hoped would be the best material for our specific children. We poured over it once it arrived, figuring out how to properly divide and teach the work load. We continue to this every single day.
This is not the case with our public school friends and family. The woke up one morning to the announcement that school was closing. They have been handed weeks (or more) worth of homework that was meant to be discussed and doled out in a specific way by an already-established teacher.
The curriculum was predetermined and already 3/4 done. They were given all of this homework and essentially told "resume". Resume from what? Somewhere in the stack of all of this paperwork is the answer, but where? I am hearing reports that teachers are only available to answer questions a few hours a day. How can a teacher address the concerned caregivers of dozens of students in that short amount of time?
Life is hard for any parent; especially moms, as women still shoulder the lion's share of responsibility in most homes. Our decisions are constantly questioned and judged. This is doubly so for single parents. We all know that each child is different. We have to remember that each adult is different, as well. No two families will have an identical experience.
What can we do during this time of shocking transition to be present for our friends and family?
- Offer Love and Support
This doesn't mean that you should stop all social distancing and take in every child on the block. Help in a reasonable way wherever you can. Offer an open and gracious heart. Listen to concerns. Help weed through the intent of paperwork that may seem confusing. Talk on the phone. Text. Message. Video conference. You won't have all of the answers (Who does?), but you can ease some of the mental load.
- Do Not Push
Offering help is step one. Make yourself available where possible, but absolutely *do not* get pushy. You are the sitting expert on home schooling your *own* children. If you have done this for any amount of time, you know that no two children learn in an identical fashion.
In other words, this is *not* the time to try to prove a point. Home education is hard, dedicated, sometimes thankless work... we know. That doesn't mean this is the right time to prove that. You know those people who have been rude about your choices all along? Those parents who pop-quiz your child, even though their own kids are struggling? Yeah, be nice to them. Try to channel Mr. Rogers, if that is what it takes.
This is not the time to try to force your personal ideals, beliefs, or methods of success onto already-overwhelmed families. Be there, but be there gently. Remind them that they have everything they need to succeed, because we all *want* each other to succeed.
- Be Encouraging
Encourage decompression. Children who are suddenly trying to balance home and school *need* to decompress. The structure of a classroom is entirely different than suddenly having to obey mom or dad when it comes to schoolwork. We emphasize decompression to families who are transitioning out of public school and into home education: this is not much different. Children are likely to act out, and adults and children both can become confused, frustrated, and anxious.
Encourage movement and playtime. Remember how fundamentally important it is to protect the mental health state of each person. Let the children play! Let them wiggle! :) A well-exercised body aids a focused mind. Taking breaks is essential.
Encourage them to find their own schedule. This their home and we as a world have almost all suddenly found ourselves with loads of time on our hands. Encourage them to try different orders to their day. Learn which child needs more of a set schedule, or which needs slight variations. It is okay to experiment.
The already-existing home education community has a rare, sweeping opportunity to bring our two communities into harmony and understanding with one another. We have a chance to be symbiotic rather than opposing each other.
We *must* not take this opportunity to rub it in society's collective face that now they get a fractional sample of how hard *we* work every single day.
We must not be haughty, mocking, derisive, patronizing, or snide. We already know the fundamental truth that being solely responsible for your child's education can be impossibly hard some days. I have already seen comments about how this school break isn't even real homeschooling. I understand that. I know exactly what that means. However, that doesn't mean that this doesn't feel like homeschooling to these families.
Social distancing brings with it a combination of e-learning and written homework. The experience will be easier for some and harder for others. In that aspect, it is not too different from home schooling. Some of us were really meant to be doing it: others struggle more. At the end of the day we are *all* trying to do what is best for our children. There is no "better" parent. There never was.
Let our conversations be seasoned with love, grace, confidence, and kindness. Let us be this way - not out of pity or because we find anyone to be lacking, but out of the decency of our own souls. Let our hearts communicate openly. Nobody likes to feel vulnerable, but right now we all need each other. We walk a divergent path. Now is the time to celebrate that! Let us do so with cheer. :)
When the world begins to open back up and everything inevitably comes to an end, may we parents all have proven to have strengthened one another. May we sincerely understand and appreciate each other's paths. May we be more respectful when talking about educational choices in the future.
May we also realize on a very personal level the true value of the people who spend their time educating our children.
#PayYourTeachersBetterAfterThis
