Coronavirus School Closings: A Letter to my Home Educating Peers

Dear Fellow Home Educators,

It is on my heart that we parents who are already used to working with our littles from home need to be mindful of how we support our public school peers during the COVID-19 school closings. It is no small thing to suddenly find the full weight of your child's education dropped in your lap. A few points to remember:

• We had the privilege of choice: each of us consciously decided to try home education. Some driving core belief backed that decision.
• In most cases, we had the benefit of forethought. Most of us had time between our decision and day one of school.
• We are familiar with the curriculum. We researched painstakingly, taking our time to choose what we hoped would be the best material for our specific children. We poured over it once it arrived, figuring out how to properly divide and teach the work load. We continue to this every single day.

This is not the case with our public school friends and family. The woke up one morning to the announcement that school was closing. They have been handed weeks (or more) worth of homework that was meant to be discussed and doled out in a specific way by an already-established teacher. 

The curriculum was predetermined and already 3/4 done. They were given all of this homework and essentially told "resume". Resume from what? Somewhere in the stack of all of this paperwork is the answer, but where? I am hearing reports that teachers are only available to answer questions a few hours a day. How can a teacher address the concerned caregivers of dozens of students in that short amount of time?

Life is hard for any parent; especially moms, as women still shoulder the lion's share of responsibility in most homes. Our decisions are constantly questioned and judged. This is doubly so for single parents. We all know that each child is different. We have to remember that each adult is different, as well. No two families will have an identical experience.

What can we do during this time of shocking transition to be present for our friends and family?

• Offer Love and Support
  
  This doesn't mean that you should stop all social distancing and take in every child on the block. Help in a reasonable way wherever you can. Offer an open and gracious heart. Listen to concerns. Help weed through the intent of paperwork that may seem confusing. Talk on the phone. Text. Message. Video conference. You won't have all of the answers (Who does?), but you can ease some of the mental load.

• Do Not Push
  
  Offering help is step one. Make yourself available where possible, but absolutely *do not* get pushy. You are the sitting expert on home schooling your *own* children. If you have done this for any amount of time, you know that no two children learn in an identical fashion.
  
  In other words, this is *not* the time to try to prove a point. Home education is hard, dedicated, sometimes thankless work... we know. That doesn't mean this is the right time to prove that. You know those people who have been rude about your choices all along? Those parents who pop-quiz your child, even though their own kids are struggling? Yeah, be nice to them. Try to channel Mr. Rogers, if that is what it takes.
  
  This is not the time to try to force your personal ideals, beliefs, or methods of success onto already-overwhelmed families. Be there, but be there gently. Remind them that they have everything they need to succeed, because we all *want* each other to succeed.

• Be Encouraging
  
  Encourage decompression. Children who are suddenly trying to balance home and school *need* to decompress. The structure of a classroom is entirely different than suddenly having to obey mom or dad when it comes to schoolwork. We emphasize decompression to families who are transitioning out of public school and into home education: this is not much different. Children are likely to act out, and adults and children both can become confused, frustrated, and anxious.
  
  Encourage movement and playtime. Remember how fundamentally important it is to protect the mental health state of each person. Let the children play! Let them wiggle! :) A well-exercised body aids a focused mind. Taking breaks is essential.
  
  Encourage them to find their own schedule. This their home and we as a world have almost all suddenly found ourselves with loads of time on our hands. Encourage them to try different orders to their day. Learn which child needs more of a set schedule, or which needs slight variations. It is okay to experiment.

The already-existing home education community has a rare, sweeping opportunity to bring our two communities into harmony and understanding with one another. We have a chance to be symbiotic rather than opposing each other. 

We *must* not take this opportunity to rub it in society's collective face that now they get a fractional sample of how hard *we* work every single day.

We must not be haughty, mocking, derisive, patronizing, or snide. We already know the fundamental truth that being solely responsible for your child's education can be impossibly hard some days. I have already seen comments about how this school break isn't even real homeschooling. I understand that. I know exactly what that means. However, that doesn't mean that this doesn't feel like homeschooling to these families. 

Social distancing brings with it a combination of e-learning and written homework. The experience will be easier for some and harder for others. In that aspect, it is not too different from home schooling. Some of us were really meant to be doing it: others struggle more. At the end of the day we are *all* trying to do what is best for our children. There is no "better" parent. There never was.

Let our conversations be seasoned with love, grace, confidence, and kindness. Let us be this way - not out of pity or because we find anyone to be lacking, but out of the decency of our own souls. Let our hearts communicate openly. Nobody likes to feel vulnerable, but right now we all need each other. We walk a divergent path. Now is the time to celebrate that! Let us do so with cheer. :)

When the world begins to open back up and everything inevitably comes to an end, may we parents all have proven to have strengthened one another. May we sincerely understand and appreciate each other's paths. May we be more respectful when talking about educational choices in the future. 

May we also realize on a very personal level the true value of the people who spend their time educating our children.

#PayYourTeachersBetterAfterThis

Why I Homeschool

When I was schooled at home it seemed to be pretty taboo, certainly much more than it is these days. Home educating families were so far on the fringe of society as a whole that some awful stereotypes were created and perpetuated. You know them, and we make fun of them. :) 

Here is a YouTube video that cracks me up. 

In the years between being a student at home and a home educating parent, the number of people educating at home has grown considerably. Where it was once primarily something religious families did, you will now find doctors, lawyers, former public school teachers (I know of at least three personally), atheists, agnostics, etc on the bandwagon. You really cannot pigeonhole homeschoolers the way you once could. 

One frequently asked question is "Why do you homeschool?" There are a host of ways to answer this question. Some or many of these reasons could easily apply to many of us:

1. The education system is failing too many students or the school my child would attend locally has a bad reputation.

2. Religious reasons. 

3. A desire to raise hands-on children who are more involved in community.

4. Ability to raise children to be wholly socialized, not simply 'peer' socialized. What??? You mean I disagree with the anti-socialization lie? Why yes! Yes, I do! lol HS children socialize with people of all ages and very many walks of life. We don't practice peer socialization, we practice world socialization. You know... the 'real world' everyone is so afraid they won't be prepared for. lol  

5. Desire to provide better standards of education.

6. Better self-esteem for child: no bullies to fear and to face.

7. Focused learning - an easily distracted child can be better kept on task when it is important.

8. Individual attention every time it is needed. No child left behind, for real.

9. Child-led education. (Child learns each subject at his/her own pace.)

10. Focus on mastery rather than teaching to test. 

11. Homeschoolers are no longer a shunned society of students. Over 2 million children are educated at home, and the percentage grows every year. Our children are welcome everywhere any student is, and can often join a variety of extracurricular programs. Some HS families still dress visibly differently, but statistics are changing. Chances are you have seen HS students out and about with no clue that they were 'different'. Oh right, we aren't! ;)

12. Early (or late) graduation. In an education that is based individually around the learning needs of the student, said student may complete high school at the point of readiness. 

13. Less summer lag. HS parents are aware of learning opportunities in the smallest things. By the time we are working through our first full year of home education, teaching our children through daily life has become a habit. It is not a habit you shut off in the summer. Kids continue to learn, and parents know which concepts to keep a child practicing if there was difficulty learning during the school year. 

14. Extra focus on special interests. If the child has a passion for any certain subject, there is no limit to the study, focus, life application, and hands-on learning that can be tailored around the subject. I know of HS students who went into tough, specialized fields by the time they were 20 (give or take) because they were able to put extra time and work into college courses in addition to regular school work. 

15. Limitless potential. Certainly every point begins and ends with this. You CAN do anything you set your mind to and work hard for.

16. Love of learning never has to be lost. Traditional school structure and environment has a way of squelching the spirits of children, and killing the love of learning we are all born with. Children are little sponges, soaking up as much information as they can. By the time they are toddling, they are little explorers and scientists. Parents are more finely tuned to their children than any person in the world. Using this information to educate them in their own fashion (kinesthetic, visual, auditory, tactile) means that the child learns in a way they enjoy. We don't teach the child 'how' to enjoy learning. We learn from the child what they enjoy naturally, and indulge the craving for information in a way that feeds that natural pleasure. 

17. Unlimited resources. Libraries, museums, zoos, aquariums, art galleries, music (or other) halls of fame, a million or more sites on the internet, in-person testimony from people who have lived through wars/economic changes/natural disasters/etc, national parks, national monuments... the list is endless. We have some pretty awesome field trips, and you can get discounts to a good many of the types of places listed by using student ID's. You have only to ask. :)

18. No school shootings. It breaks my heart that this should even be on the list. :/ Child stress, depression, and suicide are right up there as well.  

19. No labels. A child's sense of self matters. There are no bad-mannered peers telling your child who or what they are. One minute your son is a super hero, the next a book nerd, the following minute he's an athlete. Children are who they are, and they deserve for that to be kept intact as long as possible.

20. Flexibility. Are we sick today? Yup, fevers all around. There is no school, and no penalization for missing the day. We will just fill it in on a day off, and nothing is missed. I love never being really behind. When I had my second baby, doing school at home meant that we got to start later in the year and work around the naps and feeding of a newborn.

21. Getting to continue to see my child's 'firsts' as they learn and grow.

22. No drugs. If my children are taking something, it is because it was prescribed by the pediatrician. ;)

23. Variety! I have done homework (when I was in school) at a table, at a desk, on a couch, on the floor, in a chair, out on the lawn, up in a tree, outside on the roof, in the car, in a hotel, at the library, at a museum or other facility... you get the idea. 

24. Sleep! I let my children wake up when their bodies decide they have rested enough. We keep a decent bedtime, and nobody in the house is sleeping all day. (You won't find us waking up at ten, for instance, unless someone is sick.) Kids who get the sleep they need are fresher, healthier, and happier. It is a win-win.                           

25. Refreshing or relearning information in areas in which you have grown weak. This is maybe one of the best perks of all! haha You can see that the farther we go into grammar, the better off I will be! ;)

26. Nobody is having sex with your child. We live in a hyper-sexual society. Sex is on television, in songs, in the clothes we wear - everywhere. People are fond of saying "kids will do it anyway", but this is not true. It is certainly untrue for younger age groups.  

 Children are born innocent and whoa, get this, they are capable of staying that way! They are not exposed to teachers/janitors/coaches who prey on children. Knowing how the body functions, and been pressured into sex acts while still mentally too immature to understand or handle them are two very different things. 

***Side tracking for a tangent: I do advocate for being open and honest with your child about their bodies! In fact, studies show that children who know the proper terms for their genitals are less likely to be victimized. Predators know there are legal loopholes, and they exploit this. 

If your child calls a vulva, vagina, penis, testicles, and anus some cutesy name you made up to avoid your own discomfort, the predator can say "Oh, I didn't know he/she didn't want me to touch him/her there. They never said not to!" It sickens me, but it is true. Talk to someone from CPS, a lawyer, or a judge. There is real danger in using nicknames for genitals. Teach your children the names and functions of their own bodies without shame! Give them bodily autonomy and teach them how to respect their bodies so that they require respect from other people!***

Ahem. I got myself all heated up there. lol My apologies!

Anyway, you get the gist. I had to stop because there really are too many reasons to homeschool to list. We would be here all day! I consider each point mentioned above to be a perk of homeschooling, but none of them are the reason I personally educate my children at home. I have wasted your time getting to the point, haven't I? lol 

Why do I homeschool? Simply this. These children are mine. I waited three years for one and seven years for the other. I begged for them. I cried for them. I prayed for them. I invested my entire heart into them years before they ever arrived. I had a lot of time and thought put into how I would parent. These babies are my gift from God. I was entrusted with their lives, their safety, their entire childhood. That is a privilege, and it is a responsibility.

Of all of the teachers in all of the world, there is not one who will invest the time, energy, heart, passion, patience, fervor, spirit, or quality into their education that I will. I have been a careful observer from the time they were born. I know to what materials/methods they best respond. I can read in their body language when they are tired and need a break; just as I can tell when they are ready to focus and spend time on book work. 

There is something precious in witnessing the education of a child. These are moments I never would have been aware that I was missing if they were in another school. We cheer mightily for our little ones when they take their first step, say their first word, or learn to tie their shoes. Imagine how many hundreds more moments there are just like that! 

I will never forget the first time my daughter successfully wrote an 'A', or read her first words. Just like taking her first steps with sweet, chubby little baby feet, I witness her first metaphorical steps into new skills and concepts every single day of my life. It is miraculous. 

I now have five full years of home education under my belt, and a sixth currently underway. I have never lost the wonder I feel at my children. I gaze at them in awe when they do not even notice. 

I hope I never do lose this sense of wonder. It helps me to foster their own sense of wonder at the world around them. Homeschooling is not a choice I made. It is an extension of my heart in their sweet lives. Everything else that comes with it is icing on the cake. :) (: