Apple Season!

Yesterday was apple day in our cozy little home. :) We had a bushel of apples from our trip to the orchard and we were itching to use them! We settle on three things: apple pie, apple butter, and applesauce. 

The apple pie was a simple affair. We used premade crust and the recipe on the side of the box. I also finally tried out God's gift to apple-lovers everywhere: my apple peeler/slicer/corer. Wow! Where has this thing been all of my life? haha I am now under the impression that our home should have a minimum of two!

The most immediately rewarding product of our endeavors was the apple pie. It got rave reviews from the hubs and the kids. We ate (admittedly too much of) it after having a family taco night. Those were also delicious. ;) I was feeling my apple fantasy yesterday, so I stabbed a rough picture of an apple into the crust. I don't hate how it came out. Next time, I think I will go back to a homemade crust. There is no flavor whatsoever in the premade crusts. 

Yesterday also marked the first time I have ever made apple butter. Don't get me wrong, I like the flavor of apple butter. It has just never been something that is on my 'to do' list. I'm not sure what changed that this year, beyond the fact that I like to try new things. That, and I was sure that hubs and the girls would appreciate having this delicious snack around. We slow-cooked it too long, as we started in the afternoon and left it overnight. Still, I think it came out alright. Everyone loves the way it tastes. 

Forgetting that I was using apples in other ways (even while doing so), I clearly overestimated how much space I needed to cook down the applesauce. lol I decided to use the large stockpot and, boy, was that unnecessary! No matter, the sauce was cooked just fine anyway. :) We never had to worry that it would foam over the top, at any rate! 

This year, my hubs was not at work when we took on the bushel of apples. As such, this was his first time ever joining up in the process. Wow, did that speed things up! Between having a second adult around and using my corer/slicer/peeler, we really whipped out everything in absolutely no time at all! I will have to schedule all of my "apple fixin'" for when he is home from now on. ;)

We also pulled out the Ninja that Hubs bought for my birthday this year and went to town. I turned all of the apple butter and applesauce into purees using the 'smoothie' option. Oh. My. Stars. The kids went absolutely wild over the softness of both items! I am not kidding! Nobody seemed to care at all that this is technically baby food at this point. The flavor is there and the sauce and 'butter' are so smooth and delicious!

All things considered, I would have to say that apple season 2021 was a huge success. So much so that that I potentially have my eye on one more trip to the orchard, if at all possible. The autumnal season has long brought me so much joy. I've struggled with that since my dad passed on. Doing things like this together as a family is good for the soul. I will never stop. <3

Cherry Chip No-Fry (Baked) Cake Donuts

    Let's skip straight to the point, okay? These donuts are 100% cake. They're round like donuts, but they *are*, in fact, cake. Okay, we've got that out of the way. :) Other blogs gush about how lovely it is to have donuts that you've baked without the mess and impact of frying. I get it. Truly, I do. I didn't want to eat grease. (I can't handle it anymore.) I didn't want to work with grease. But I am not going to lie to you and say that these are 'cake donuts'. They're not. They're round, holey, little cakes. Okay? Shew! Fortunately, my kids are good with that. ;)

Let's also get the recipe out of the way up top. Too few recipe pages do that. Here goes:

1 Box Cake Mix (your choice)
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup milk
1 egg

Simple! I have perused cake mix donut recipes for about a week now, in anticipation of making these. They are all nearly identical. If I had to split them into two camps, it would be "more milk, fewer eggs" and "more eggs, less milk". I opted to slide right down the middle of the recipes and made them as listed above. I baked them for 14 minutes in silicone donut pans at 350 degrees. 

It is important to spray the pan before you add the dough. I scraped the batch into a gallon-sized zipper bag, snipped the corner off, and pressed out the batter in a circle around the ring. You can see below that around half of the donut was plenty. They plumped right up to the proper size.

It is also notable that you need to let these babies cool for around ten minutes after baking, so they come out of the pan more easily. You can also loosen them up with the handle end of a spoon if you feel you need to. 

These little cakes were very good, if somewhat fragile. In the end, rather than refilling the three fun donut trays, I popped the rest of the dough into cupcake wrappers and baked them up as-is. You get more "inside" in one bite this way. The inside is my favorite part. :) I also filled six of them with chocolate icing and then frosted the tops. My girls at them so quickly I don't have a picture. Hubs and I prefer without. All in all, doing these with my kids was 'memories in the bank' enjoyable: a real bonus in our day. <3 

Should you choose to make these, know that they will be fun and flavorful whether you consider them to be true cake donuts or not. There is still a recipe floating around out there that I would like to try. It calls for substituting other wet ingredients with applesauce, pumpkin puree, or smashed banana. The pictures on that recipe certainly looked more like cake donuts do inside. We shall see! 

Apples, Pumpkins, and Smoothies

Perusing the Pumpkin Patch

September 28th

My, it took us forever to get to the apple orchard! I usually like to make several trips through the summer and fall. Not so, this year. We made our first (and potentially only) trip just this past Tuesday afternoon. It is harder to work around schedules these days, what with Hubs working through the week and having classes, and Giraffe working on the weekends and having classes, her own appointments, and activities. Add the extra child and pet appointments that seem to be all week long in the evenings now, and there you have it. A busier year and less access to family time to run around. :) 

Even so, we had the loveliest time! The kids and I were ready as soon as Hubs came home from work. We piled ourselves and both doggos into the vehicle, and off we went! :) This was our puppy's first time at the orchard, which was exciting. Our little old lady has been here many times. She mosied around the apple trees like it was old hat. You could see the joy all over her chubby little face. <3 :) I was hoping to get a full bushel of apples. In the end, we found four such fabulous pumpkins that we couldn't choose just two for the girls. I opted for a half bushel of apples and all four of us each had a pumpkin instead. :) The kids also had cider, courtesy of Giraffe. She's such a generous soul. <3

We had no sooner gotten home than Koala grabbed her newest pumpkin, a small white pumpkin we already had at home, and some of her winter things and propped them into a scarf-clad pumpkin child on the floor. I was in the other room, at the time. She came rushing in and asked for my phone "to take a picture". I assumed she meant a shot of the pumpkins altogether, but nope. She showed back up with the biggest grin on her face and the picture to my right. lol Clever child! I never know what to expect with her or her sister, either one! It is one of my all-time favorite things about having children. There simply is no guessing what is in their mind or heart at any given time. They are such a complete and utter joy to nurture along for this part of their (hopefully lengthy) lives. God is so good to us. <3

September 30th

Somewhere around a week ago, I saw a graphic on Facebook that had the ingredients for an autumnal pumpkin spice smoothie. I was sure that I had saved it. By the time I was ready to try making it, I couldn't find it anywhere. The recipes I looked at online didn't seem exactly right. They called for ice, for one. I remembered that the recipe called for bananas, maple syrup, pumpkin pie spice, and pumpkin puree. 

I gave it my best shot, sort of combining a few recipes I saw online. Instead of milk and ice, I used vanilla ice cream (roughly six scoops). I added the suggested 4 tablespoons of maple syrup from another recipe. Two teaspoons of vanilla were next, followed closely by four bananas (previously frozen for an hour-ish). Giraffe sliced up two tablespoons of butter and dropped them in a pat at a time. We were really dubious about that one. I'm still not sure why the other online recipe called for them. They were completely unnecessary. I digress. Two cups of pure pumpkin puree lent color to the mix. (Must not use pie filling, every recipe cautioned!) Finally, the teaspoon of cinnamon and the two teaspoons of pumpkin pie spice rounded out the fall flavor-fest. 

Results: The flavor was okay. It wasn't anything I would drink, personally. The kids absolutely loved it. Mom win! It tasted mostly like overripe banana, pumpkin, and a bit of seasoning. Oh... and my Koala broke out in hives. Big ones. I dosed her with allergy meds and then took a picture of two of the patches of hives, for the record. So, mom-win-turned-mom-fail. The child loved it but can never drink this kind of smoothie again. Oof! I froze the rest of the batch in a large mason jar. Giraffe is slowly eating that as an ice cream treat. :)

Straw Bale Garden Produce, August 2021

The wait is over! The garden is starting to ripen. Here are some of the goodies we have taken in. (This post was meant for August but was delayed due to a loss.)

      

    This purple and pink cutie is a Pink Siberian Tiger tomato. I enjoy the flavor but have found the flesh is so quickly soft and temperamental. I also can't seem to stop these guys from splitting around the top. 

     Featured: Indigo Pear tomatoes (top left - small yellow and purple), Chef's Choice Pink tomatoes, Golden Fang tomatoes (oblong yellow), Wapsipinicon Peach tomatoes (fuzzy small yellow), Pink Bumblebee tomatoes (far right, bottom), Pink Princess Cherry tomato (hiding under the Wapsi), a cucumber, Tigger Melons and I believe an under-ripe Nebraska Wedding.

     I was delighted to grow my own yellow potatoes. :) These are fingerlings, which tasted absolutely heavenly in a pot roast soup. <3  

      These lovely tomatoes are my Orange Orangutans. Aren't they positively a feast for the eyes? Yummmmm. You can see the hint of a Kellogg's Breakfast tomato at the uppermost left corner, right beside a Chef's Choice Pink tomato. These were all quite large and made delicious BLT sandwich tomatoes. :)

    These tomatoes came out a bit "smaller", although not small in any real sense. I had a fair amount of Pink Siberian Tiger, Black Beauty, Nebraska Wedding, Orange Orangutan, Hilliblly Potato Leaf, Kellogg's Breakfast, and this large yellow-orange tomato I grew from seeds I took off of a supermarket tomato a couple of years ago.

    This picture is a closer look at what the Wapsipinicon Peach tomatoes look like. If you have a phone, zoom in. Perhaps you can tell that they are fuzzy like a peach, though distinctly a tomato. I don't particularly care for these, myself. They are my teen's favorite, though. Thus, I will always grow them for her. :)

    Here is a picture of Golden Fang tomatoes beside Roma/Rio Grand for comparison. They did very well, I think. You can see the one is still ripening. I like to bring tomatoes in while they are a bit green to keep them out of the hands of eager squirrels. ;)

This seems to be the only (terrible lol) picture I have of green beans. Hm. Sorry about that. lol

    This is what Tigger Melons look like on the inside. They are meant to be larger than this. It took three years of trying to get these to grow. I was so excited to see what happened that I let the vines go wild. I didn't cull a single melon. In no time, we had over forty! Fun fact: squirrels LOVE them! They are a bit like a cross between a cantaloupe and a honeydew. Their flavor is more earthy and less sweet. My friend loves them, so I will probably grow them again next year. :)

    Butternut squash came up. It was the only one that came up and stuck around. We got exactly one zucchini, two Crookneck (both of which died out of nowhere), no Delicata and initially no Spaghetti Squash. The latter vine came up and put out a small Spag before the squash bugs got to it. My pumpkins, cantaloupe, and cucumbers were all taken down by birds and squirrels while they were still seedlings. I ran to Kroger and saved a dying Boston Pickling Cucumber plant that was on its last legs. We've been making Cucumber Bread ever since.

Our beets grew very quickly but stayed quite small. I will have to look into them more next year and see what I can do to help them out. I gave them good soil, light, and nutrition. Even so, it seems that my neighbors and friends have seen their gardens struggle this year, as well. I am grateful for the few we had. :)

The Parsley (two kinds) has done very well. I am disappointed to say that neither it nor the dill has drawn in swallowtail eggs or caterpillars. Boo! The dill never took off, either. It is still the same single sprig it started out as. Darn if that little guy still didn't manage to flower. lol Chives have continued to boom. I do not love how their bulbs look, but the greens are quite tasty. Cabbage did alright. I picked it before it was full-sized since I am the only one who eats it. It was crisp, delicious, and oh-so fresh! :) I will check on the next head any day now. Carrots wilted and died in the hot summer sun. Radishes were tiny or did the same. Peas came up briefly (Alaska and Sugar Snap) but ultimately fell to wildlife. 

    In all, the month of August was very productive. We also turned my little Giraffe's pool (that she couldn't use with an injured ankle) into a temporary goldfish pond. One of our Bettas, Cobalt, also spent a lot of time out there bringing such a lively pop of blue into the yard. Feeding the fish added another component of tranquility to my gokotta ritual. 

    I adore fall and bear the Christmas spirit pretty much year-round but I have found myself dreading and almost even grieving the close of the gardening season this year. It is the one place in the world where I come closest to much-coveted coveted eutierria. *sigh* I digress. The days are short and best spent intentionally. I must enjoy them all while I have them. <3

The Day the Blood Cried Out

I wrote this poem around September 13th, 2001. It has since been published in four other places. I am posting it here to honor the memory of the day.

THE DAY THE BLOOD CRIED OUT
When Cain killed Abel So many years ago, He hid his brother's body. He didn't want God to know.
But Cain heard someone speaking, And as he looked around, The voice of God told him, Abel's blood cried from the ground.
We're also told in Scripture, If God we won't praise with shout: If ever man is silenced, The very rocks will cry out.
This last Tuesday a tragedy Struck our sinful land. Thousands of Americans were killed, By the terrorist's hand.
As floor by floor, the towers tumbled, In Heaven, God heard the shout. Even nature stood silent, As the blood began to cry out
A hole was blown in our confidence. Our peace shattered apart, As our once righteous nation, Suffered the consequence of a godless heart.
We've become so immune, So used to getting our own way. Might have the prayers of even one Christian, Prevented our loss the other day?
Our nation has turned to other gods, Made excuse for every sin. Too often not even a fervent Christian, Tries that hard lost souls to win.
We all pretend to be "Christian". We know just how to play the part. But the seeming outer devotion, Is completely lost to each distracted heart.
God has hedged in America, Protected us in His lap. And now he's calling Christian soldiers, To come, stand in the gap.
We need to get real with God. Let's turn this nation around. Let's give our answer to the blood, Now crying from the ground.
SYMPATHY WILL NEVER REPLACE SERVICE.
"And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land."
Ezekial 22:30a (KJV)

Living in the Past

    I heard somewhere recently that people who still talk about events that happened to them years ago are either stuck in the past or are doing so for attention. I find that to be a narrow-minded and ultimately negative assessment.

    Take me, for example. I am one such person. I make a point of talking about experiences that my husband and I went through long ago - although not for nefarious or ego-driven reasons. I do so because those exact same events are still happening to people today. For those people, the trauma is fresh. It is *right now* and they need someone to see them. Isolation happens when you cannot find someone to identify with or are too vulnerable to put yourself out there. Often, people in the midst of trauma don't even know how to look for help. Simply surviving has taken every fiber of their being.

    I would one thousand times rather put my story out there and be misunderstood if it means reaching someone in the darkness and giving them a safe place to turn. This is how I feel about using my birth story with my eldest. Even people in my own circle are still having babies. Some know me well, some I have met more recently. When I tell our story, it gives someone permission to give a voice to what they are going through. It also gives them a resource for companionship.

    By working in the arena of birth trauma I live in the dark, yes. But I am there because new people are showing up every day and need a hand back out into the light. Until we make birth safe for everyone, there will always be this need. Isolation can be lethal. I cannot turn a blind eye to this.

    The same can be said of living with anxiety and depression. *Someone* has to spot it and sit with those who find themselves there. My husband's lovely cousin once did this for me well over a decade ago. She passed recently: such a loss.

    Further, God is not threatened by Christians who struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD, or any other mental illness. On the contrary, He is close to those who are brokenhearted. I think that sometimes people forget that struggling with something is not the same as surrendering to it. Every person's journey is unique. It is high time we recognize and validate that. Equally, struggling with mental health doesn't mean that that is *all* a person does.

    There is enough pain in the world without walking around making sweeping declarations. If the most you can see of someone is their perceived failings and your response is to call those out rather than try to help, 1. You're missing out on getting to know someone truly and deeply. I am acquainted with many people who suffer from anxiety, whether mild or crippling. I couldn't imagine seeing them only for their most vulnerable attribute. 2. It is a severe red flag about your own character. Narcissists, for example, operate daily in the realm of reducing people to their worst perceived flaw. This is neither healthy for the assessor or the assessee. Don't be that person.

    It is so important to try not to invalidate someone's journey with carelessly chosen words. Beyond the obvious, they may be doing work you cannot even see. <3

"Who Just Stuffed Me With a Cabbage?"

*The following article is a long read. It was originally published here.*

I was twenty-three years old when my husband and I finally overcame mild infertility and a history of early miscarriages, and I brought my twelve-pound daughter into the world. The experience was life-altering on such deep levels that I have yet to find a way to discuss it properly in one sitting.

I had had a rough pregnancy. My heart has issues and mimics heart attacks the entire time. I had bleeding, swelling, protein in my urine, and eight and a half months of vomiting at all hours of the day. Labor had started around 36 weeks and was stopped with seven rounds of medication that caused me an allergic reaction.

End of July Bale Garden Update

I missed June and we are now at the end of July. Here is my very tardy garden update. Up first is a picture I took this morning. Excuse the watering can. It catches excess drip-off from my dripper hose. 

Arch One (left) has seen some good progress with indeterminate tomato growth. You can see the plants are reaching for the sky. We periodically tie them as they grow, so they do not fall. Arch two (right) also has some good growth on the far right side where the indigo pear plants are growing. Both bales kind of blocking off each arch were purchased last. We only planted those at the end of June, I believe. They hold squash plants. 

Speaking of squash, we picked our first (and so far only) zucchini today. I have blamed myself mercilessly for my five kinds of squash and my watermelons and cucumbers not coming up. Today, I will provide vindication. 

A few weeks ago I lovingly tucked around twenty more seedlings into bales. I kid you not, nearly the minute I got back into the house and shut the sliding door, birds descended onto my bales and plucked them all up. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I have never had this problem before. Most likely, because I keep my birds fat and fed. This year, as you may or may not know, feeding birds and providing water has become a no-no. There is some unknown disease killing songbirds. No longer able to depend upon me for direct food, their eye as turned on my garden. I do not begrudge my beauties their dinner; even if it means that there will be far fewer crops growing from my bales this year. 

In an effort to spare you a lot of reading. I will switch over to pictures with very short descriptions of what we *do* have growing in the garden. I won't cover everything: just those of which I have recent photos.

These are our first tomatoes of the season. They are Pink Princess Cherry Tomatoes. Unfortunately, both my Pink Bumblebee and my Sunrise Bumblebee plants died of unknown reasons after being properly planted. 

These are my Indigo Pear Drops. They are about the size of a yellow pear tomato. They will be yellow with a kiss of the purple/black you see here.

These tomatoes are the Black Beauty variety. As you can see, they will also be kissed with a black/purple top. The bottoms, I am assured, will ripen to a nice red. This is how we will know when they are ripe enough to pick. I am curious to try these and see how they taste.

I am including a larger picture from this morning so you can see how my little Giraffe's Autumn Sunflower plant has taken off. The packet said that it would grow around five or six feet tall. This is easily in the nine-to-eleven-foot range. Both Hubs and I can fully extend our arms above our heads and not come close to touching the top. :)

You will find my Tigger Melon plants vining through tomatoes along the back fence, as well. In some ways, I suppose it is okay that the birds kept emptying two of the other bales. It has given these guys room to expand without choking anything out. These are "third time's a charm", as this is the third consecutive summer we have grown them - but only the first time they have 'taken' and we will see fruit. I am elated!

The chives are growing like crazy. I am not using them quickly enough. The cabbage is coming to a head right beside them. You can see a fair amount of bug damage in the cabbage. I wasn't able to do anything about that until recently. I am considering looking into planting a second set as part of my fall planting. We shall see. I need to redo lettuce once it eventually cools down some, as well.

We planted an entire bale of green beans and only this little guy survived. Again, I claim vindication on behalf of my green thumb. The birds have done a real number on my garden this year. I love them so much. I wish them happy eating. <3

An identical fate befell the peas. I planted two entire bales of Alaska Peas and Sweet Peas. This one little fella is the only man standing. I don't have a picture of it, but next to him are the Dill and Parsley plants. I planted those mostly in hope of enticing Black Swallowtail Butterflies to my yard. We have so enjoyed them in the past. So far, no such luck. To be honest, the birds are likely picking off the caterpillars and other insects more vigilantly this year, as well.

I do have some other photos, but I believe I will end here with a final summary. My beets are growing 'alright'. However, I feel that they, the radishes, and especially the Purple Dragon Carrots are all suffering from the heat. I cannot seem to keep them happy, no matter how hard I try. Failing a good rooting, we will at least have delightful greens for salad. 

Of the twenty-four specific varieties of tomatoes I planted, I can only confirm that around nineteen or twenty are actually rooted well and growing. I lost two to a careless spill of my youngest. I lost two more inexplicably after planting. I have a suspicion that if I go through and count, I will find more missing from the count. Some of my tags burned out in the sun. Other plants I had multiples of and some did not survive. I honestly do not know what all is out there. As they finally begin to come ripe, I will get it sorted out. 

As stated above, the Tigger Melons are my only large fruits growing now. My watermelons and canteloupes didn't survive the birds. My squash plants were all in the tray that my little Pie dropped all over the place. I have not seen any Delicata growing, nor Yellow Crookneck. I *believe* I can guarantee that I have a single Butternut Squash plant growing, a single Zucchini, and a single Spaghetti Squash plant growing. There are two little plants (one a vining squash and the other that looks more like a zucchini) struggling to grow that could turn out to be any of the above. 

My cucumbers did not survive the birds but I did save one half-dead plant from the front of our local Kroger. It is vining now but still struggling. Every wee cucumber so far has died without pollination. If it wasn't so blasted hot, I might try to pollinate by hand some morning. The heat and my little Pie's unexpected ankle injury have kept me mostly indoors. You can tell, too, because my green peppers are going red and are riddled with holes from hungry bugs. I can barely get to them, over the sprawling potato plants. (None of which have started to flower yet and one bucket *has* begun to die.) 

The garden continues to be a literal hot mess this year. I have finally gotten out two mornings in a row. I've vowed to myself to keep a better eye on it from now on. We'll see how long that lasts, with another blast of blistering heat due Monday... ;) ;) ;) 

Straw Bale Garden 2021 - May Update

Are you ready? Here is the rundown of where we are with our garden, at the moment. I will start with types of tomatoes that are presently growing in the bales. 

Small Varieties

Yellow Pear

Indigo Pear Drops OG

Sunrise Bumblebee

Pink Bumblebee

Pink Princess Cherry

Honeydrop Cherry

(Regular old red cherry plant didn't make it)

Mid-Sized to 'Large-ish'

Wapsipinicon Peach Hybrid

Roma

Rio Grande

Banana Legs

Black Beauty

Fantome de Laos

Nebraska Wedding

Golden Fang

Box Car Willie

Yellow/Orange Hybrid (I'm not sure what mixed to make this treat, but I propagate it every year.)

The Big Boys

Hillbill Potato Leaf

Orange Orangutan

Pink Siberian Tiger

Kellogg's Breakfast

Pineapple Heirloom

Chef's Choice Pink

Striped German

Yellow Brandywine 

*Pink Brandywine plants didn't make it - reseeded these today*

*Beefsteak plants also didn't make it - reseeded today*

     

That is twenty-four specific varieties of tomatoes if you're counting. We shall see if my Pink Brandywine and Beefsteak tomatoes seeds germinate and have time to grow successfully.

As you can tell from this picture, the plants I started incredibly late are very small. I won't waste time being embarrassed about this. I've had a rough year all around. I am thrilled these guys are in their places and growing. 

By comparison, the tomato plants I purchased from my favorite tomato guy at our local farmer's market are much larger. In fact, some of them are beginning to flower. Given the cold weather that we all faced for an extended period this spring, that is impressive. I am very pleased. 

I placed tomatoes in our two arches this year, in hopes that they will hang lush and green all season long. Last year, I had squash in the arches. When the expectedly annoying squash bugs took out all but one or two plants, my arches sat there woefully half empty. I would be delighted if the arches were so full of tomato plants that we had different color fruits hanging all around us. 

My potatoes are doing a lovely job growing in buckets around the yard. I planted "yellow potatoes" that were purchased originally as food from the grocery store. I put more effort into obtaining the Yukon Gold seed potatoes that I have coveted for years. Wouldn't you know, those did not provide half as wonderful eyes as the regular yellow potatoes. 

No matter, I adore the yellow variety or I wouldn't have bought them. Someday, I hope to have a customized planter which provides a unique potato-growing experience. We shall see. 

I have also purchased a couple of green pepper plants from the local farmer's market. Some plants (like tomatoes) can be popped into the ground (or bales) late and prayed over. Green peppers have not turned out to be that plant, in my experience. They take longer to grow; long enough that I would prefer to pick some well-established plants if I boff up the season as I did this year. These two will do quite nicely. 

Strawberries continue to smile up at us from the corner. With the chicken wire in place, we may *possibly* have a chance of eating some this year. Local bunnies have long stolen these tasty morsels before we ever had a chance to try to harvest them. 

Additionally, I have just learned how to propagate strawberries. I will probably try my hand at making sure we have more in the ground for next springtime. I know the kids would really love that.

My lilacs survived the harsh winter blast that rolled through earlier this spring. Pictured here is the plant out in front of my house. It is positively laden with blooms. These are my all-time favorite flower. I have dearly enjoyed their scent wafting around and through my home.

The roses, too, have really taken off. I have three plants which produce a variety of shades ranging from magenta to a velvety burgundy.

I also have the wee white roses my parents gave to me. The first bud opened on my dad's birthday yesterday. He's been gone four years and two months. I sure do love and miss that big guy!

Honesuckle that had kissed the back of our neighbor's property last year has settled in all around us. It lines the trees at the back of our lot. It has sprung up alongside the bushes out front. I read that white honeysuckle can be considered invasive in some areas. I see why. That said, it has the most pleasant fragrance. 

That is enough of the pretties, I suppose. In my last blog I promised to finally lay in more seeds for this year's garden. Also, hubs bought me two more bales of straw this weekend. They give me the space to drop in those heavy zucchini and squash plants. 

In keeping with my tremendously 'run behind' garden season, I have only just laid in those seeds today. All of the fingers around here are crossed and prayers are flying that each one germinates.

Planted Today: Buttercrunch Lettuce, White-Tipped Radish, Detroit Dark Red Beets, Beefsteak Tomatoes, Pink Brandywine tomatoes, Alaska Peas, Sugar Daddy Peas, Hale's Best Jumbo Cantaloupe, Sugar Baby Ice Box Watermelon, Cilantro, Basil, Crookneck Squash, Black Beauty Zucchini, Waltham Butternut Squash, Spaghetti Squash, and Delicata Squash. I will try to remember to either soak or seed some green beans and more flowers tomorrow. We have a Hummingbird and Butterfly Mix that I would like to try. 

Ah! I almost forgot to mention my lovely garden fresh chives. They continue to thrive in their pot. Pictured here is a delicate chive flower head. It is composed of many, many small flowers. 

The chives share a pot with my little Pie's Golden Acre Cabbage. She is quite pleased with herself at how her small cabbage plants are growing. I sincerely enjoy watching my childrens' merriment as the fruits of their labor become evident in the garden year after year. It warms my heart to no end.

I also neglected to mention that we have Tigger Melon tucked in bales in front of the back panel, along with some of our tomatoes. I am hoping fervently that we are successful at growing them this year. They will have the tell-tale pattern of a watermelon but ripen to the yellow and orange colors of pumpkins. How fun!

There are a few more seeds that I need to find (or buy) space for. At the top of that list are Tendercrunch Carrots and Purple Dragon Carrots. I do so hope to finally see what they look like as large as possible! I would also like to try Watermelon Radish again, but I either cannot find or have run out of those seeds. 

In the meantime, our admittedly *very* late start to the 2021 bale garden season has finally taken off. I am immensely relieved! I hope all is well in your little piece of Heaven on earth. Blessings! :) 

The 'Start' of Something Good: Straw Bale Garden 2021

The 2021 garden season is underway. 

I'll admit, I have struggled mightily this year. For the first time, I had no energy or will to put into my garden. I have been in a tremendous amount of pain. I've been struggling through brain fog so powerful that it leaves me feeling like I am tucked away in a dark room somewhere in the back of my head and can't seem to bring myself forward into my own eyes - into the physical room with everyone else. These pair with a lot of other symptoms but most noticeably some heart issues/episodes that last an hour at a time. My yearly struggles with triggering dates and events also came roaring more vividly to the front than they have in a while. 

February showed up almost immediately after Christmas was over. I told myself it was okay that I had no drive to start the garden because it was too early and too cold. March came, and I tried to talk myself into it but gave myself more time. I bought my straw bales and was delighted when they arrived on the first day of spring. Secretly, I wondered how I would put anything into them when I had still completely lost interest. Still, I figured having the bales might force me to begin. 

The end of March passed with me chiding myself that I *still* hadn't started. I was trying so hard to even keep up with daily tasks that it was mid-April in a blink. I still felt confused and tired and wondered what on earth is going on with me. On the 14th, thanks to the excitement of my little Pie, she and I finally placed seeds into pods.

Oh, she was so happy to help! She chatted and sang. In all, we spent a really good evening together. I didn't tell her how dizzy I felt or that I was getting confused by the names of the plants. I wrote down what we planted and sighed a massive inward sigh of relief when we were done. 

Sprouts started to show up a few days later. Ugh. I wasn't ready! 

"We'll move them over tomorrow," I promised myself for an additional two days. 

At some point, you know you simply *have* to get those poor things into trays! Little Giraffe was my enthusiastic helper once again. A Sunday afternoon was shared pouring over seedlings and potting soil. It was lovely. 

Gracious, they grow so FAST! The wee sprouts begged for larger cups (again) before I was ready. I like to bury them right up to beneath their first leaves so they have plenty of room to root. Another Sunday afternoon came and went, with four hours of careful transfers from trays to little pots. Fast-forward almost a week and that brings us to Saturday. My little Giraffe and I worked for hours finishing the transfer of newer seedlings into little cups and adding dirt, where needed, into the ones we finished last weekend. Her enthusiasm makes me smile. =)

Something else happened, too. Sure, I'm still exhausted, in a ton of pain, and really struggling to keep up with the tasks of any given day BUT... 

I got to sit outside.

So simple, right? That is also *extremely* late in the year for me. It was the first time all year that I have been absolutely alone in the morning and took the time to go out onto the patio and just exist. I inhaled the chilled air deeply; my muscles relaxing almost in unison. The sun warmed my right arm, even as my nose seemed to freeze on my face. My legs quickly turned gray and pale, but it didn't matter. I have needed this.

I wish that I had had the wherewithal to come out here to my place of peace sooner. This utter lack of energy is disconcerting. Additionally, spring has been colder than usual - keeping me wrapped mentally in the somber grip of winter. Like the still-frigid nights, I have been so dark inside. It feels like hibernation.

I adore and cherish my children with all of my heart. Time spent with them is borrowed and precious. Even so, few things compare to the way I experience the yard and garden in solitude. Birds are louder and friendlier. They come by to inspect me. I enjoy their eye contact and tilting heads. :) Squirrels and chipmunks do the same, cautiously checking to see if I've brought seeds and nuts. Insects are everywhere, making busy work of inspecting our plants, straw bales, and each other. In a world where humans give me strange looks or make rude comments about me in front of my children, nature accepts me as I am.

I fit in, somehow.

I knew from a young age that we were meant to be of service to other people. In itself, learning compassion is not a bad thing. When you start so small that helping others and constantly doing for others are your earliest memories, you can develop an intense sense of obligation. I am sure much of that came from the actual obligation placed on every pastor's family. Pair that later in life with anxiety or depression of any sort and there is *so much* internalized pressure. 

Not out in my garden. Not when both children are at work or out with Hubs. Here, I fit in without a single expectation resting on my shoulders. In that moment, my garden came back into my heart, bringing with it the first seedlings of sunshine and hope. It is hard to live a life of constant panic. I badly needed this reminder to just breathe.

I would love to refer to it as quiet or some kind of stillness. Nothing could be further from the truth. The world around me teems with life. The usual insects scurry around on the patio and buzz about the air. Birds warble, trill, pipe, and croon merrily all up and down the row of trees and underbrush. The distinct hum of tires on pavement carries over from the highway a couple of miles to the east. Small planes drone overhead, taking off from the small airport to our north. Barking punctuates the giggles and shrieks of neighborhood children at play. A nearby fire station sends off trucks with great alarm every so often. No, it couldn't be described as quiet *or* still, here. But it is home. 

I remember last year during the pandemic lockdown, the news referred to all of the above as "noise pollution". I understand the term. Yet, each of these noises contributes to the soundtrack of our daily lives. They are proof that the world continues functioning around us. The particular rhythm of life in our town is back on track as much as it can be. Quiet or no, pollution or not, these sounds bring peace. 

Gracious! Can I talk too much, or what? Maybe you didn't need that deep a look into my mind. My apologies. 

At any rate, that centering visit to my soon-to-be garden was exactly what I needed. It spilled into a calming weekend and the readiness to show my little plants the attention they deserve. I will list them here.

Tomatoes have my full attention, at the moment. In fact, outside of cabbage and Tigger Melon, they are the only seeds to have sprouted in my home. So far, we are growing 16 varieties:

Red Cherry
Yellow Pear
Indigo Pear *
Sunrise Bumblebee (a family favorite)
Pink Bumblebee *

Rio Grande

Roma

Wapsipinicon Peach Hybrid (shaped like beefsteak and larger than usual Wapsi)

Pineapple Heirloom
Mid-sized Yellow/Orange (grown from my Pineapple seeds last year and were deep yellow into orange instead of the yellow with red streaks advertised)

Boxcar Willie * (a gift from the farmer's market)

German Stripe *

Kellogg's Breakfast *

Chef's Choice Pink
Pink Brandywine (my personal favorite)
Hillbilly Potato Leaf (another favorite)

Beefsteak

The tomato varieties marked with an * are ones we have never grown before. Truth be told, I have my eye on five or six other varieties my favorite local vendor is selling, as well. =)

Tigger Melon (striped like a watermelon but in oranges like a pumpkin) is growing well. Last year, it got to about this size and then died. I had sewn it into a bale that had already-established squash vines. Their leaves hid the sun. I have higher hopes for this year. 

Golden Acre Cabbage is off to a good start. We also have strawberries flowering right now. 

As for actual flowers, my lilacs and roses are budding in spite of the cold nights and chilly days. Little Giraffe has a sunflower plant stretching merrily toward the sky. 

Last season's chives showed back up early this spring and are having a real go of it in their pot. I will make one last list. These are the plants I will also (hopefully) have started soon, whether seeded indoors or planted directly into pots and bales: 

Black Beauty Zucchini
Golden Crookneck Squash
Spaghetti Squash
Butternut Squash
Delicata Squash

Cucumbers (I'm not sure yet which variety)

Sugar Baby Watermelon
Hale's Best Jumbo Cantaloupe

Sugar Snap Peas

Green Beans

Watermelon Radish

Sparkler Radish

Detroit Dark Red Beet

Buttercrunch Lettuce (I may add more varieties here)

California Wonder Bell Peppers

Green Bell Peppers
Carrots
Purple Dragon Carrots

I believe that may be it? I haven't considered which herbs I would like to grow this year, yet. To be honest, I feel that I have done myself an injustice, having just 16 bales to work with. I will purchase no fewer than twenty from now on if I can help it. (Surprise, Hubs!) In the meantime, I will be adding a couple of smaller buckets to my yard. The place should be overgrown with produce before we know it. =)

In the meantime, I hope the air warms up enough to make life outdoors not just enjoyable, but mandatory. What a relief it would be to continue to 'wake up' mentally and emotionally. This is not to say that I haven't had moments of joy. I have returned to an old hobby that has made me smile frequently, whether or not my personality overall is kind of muted. I will blog about that separately. <3 Blessings to anyone who has read through this far.