"Playing the Victim"

I have been reading a lot about people who have come out of abusive religious situations. I believe it needs to be repeated that people recovering from toxic ideals that were enforced as religious mandates are *not* being "victims" when they are openly honest about the abuse they've suffered. Rather, they are victors who now stand strong enough to call out wrong.

Many in my generation were raised under a veil of silence. "Don't harm the church. Don't harm the 'man of God'. God didn't harm you: people harmed you. Do NOT talk about it or you will harm the good people who are left. You are hurting God if you are honest about abuse in His churches!"

I have said it before, calling out sin and crime in the church is the *only* way Christianity has even a modicum of hope to regain any decency. This continuing onslaught of gossip and condemnation spewing out against people who dare to leave only demonstrates the deepening need for purging in God's houses.

A church that has to work to earn back a good reputation after outing a bad person has a head start if they are open and honest. A church that hides the deeds of a disgusting human being - or worse, a criminal - under the guise of 'forgiveness' becomes an accomplice.

Do not mistake God's forgiveness for the necessary justice required by law.

If a person has committed fraud, embezzlement, or some kind of immorality (against children or other adults, for example), they must be held accountable by the legal standards of the day. God may forgive the soul, but He is also very clear about following the law.

Church members who vilify those who have left their denomination or even just their specific church building only further prove the toxic nature that made leaving necessary. I have witnessed time and again the way people are ripped to shreds. I have seen gossip spread and cause. Shoot, we were the target of this, ourselves. I do not speak this out of hurt feelings. Any feelings I have on the matter are long gone. All that remains is a passion to see people in similar situations freed and supported.

All of this is done in the guise of the 'righteous' discussing the 'fallen'. It is vicious and ugly. Make no mistake, it is sinful. When the church no longer matches God's plan for His people, it is *not* the place to find spiritual growth.

If you've found yourself leaving a denomination and under fire by the 'good' people, please remember that they do not speak for God. Whether or not they can see that you are running towards Him, not away from Him doesn't matter. Compassionate children of the Almighty would not behave this way. It is better to find a fold of flawed sheep than to forever remain in a den of wolves in sheep's clothing.