2024 Summary

 2024 did not see further updates or even a seasonal wrap-up online about my garden. I honestly cannot tell you how many tomato varieties we ended up with, This is understandable, as my mom's cancer thundered in and swept her right out from under us. The rest of my time in the garden was largely spent pondering the freight train that had blown through my life. Worse, as the garden season waned I was in the midst of grief and in no mental state to keep watching living things die around me. We took it down in stages: thrice I went out there by myself and just ripped and hacked away mercilessly at the long, vining plants. One weekend, we set our minds to finish and brought it to the ground in seventeen massive lawn trash bags. 

I remember that we had lemon squash until I became impatient with it growing all over my patio and tore it down somewhere mid-season. I was nonetheless pleased that squash bugs did not get it. My tatume squash left to hang until they yellowed came out looking like pumpkins, just as I had hoped. My little Koala's actual pumpkins stayed small but were a fun and welcome addition to the Candy Day festivities. She carved her own home-grown pumpkin this year, which felt great. 

We made a point of going to the zoo as often as we could swing the money to rent me a scooter. I was beyond caring what people think of a big mama on a scooter. I needed out and my back cannot manage walking without seizing up. The aquarium at the zoo especially became my place of comfort. Grief turned to relief every time I could sit quietly watching the fish in the largest tank. Family time with my husband and kids infuses my very being with relaxation and comfort I cannot find elsewhere. 

We took advantage of trips running the work truck back and forth to the warehouse to listen to good music and grab Pie a little treat here or there. My big girl was in a better headspace, as she continued to grow into her adult infancy. Having her around on her days off has been an immense pleasure. 

We celebrated the upcoming Christmas season by doing whatever we felt, at the time. Shopping became a coping mechanism; one I will be paying off for quite a while. Yikes. Even so, it felt good to bring gifts into the house and plan for the girls' merriment. 

Seasonal depression showed up, of course, but was kind of hard to discern from the natural depression grief brings along. I've struggled less in some ways and more in others. 

Here we are, already in March of 2025. I realized today that I will be expected to write about my garden plans soon. Fair enough. Just know that they have been reduced in size to accommodate my grief and hopefully boost my mental wellness.