Saturday, July 28, 2018

Oh, Deer Me...

I have had a weird, hard summer, garden-wise.  I have been somewhat laissez-faire about tending it, for one. The ninety-plus degree days are not my friends. They are hot and I get soaked and cranky in no time. 

There has also been the odd growing rates. Thanks to the later start, some of my bell peppers are only just now looking like early-season plants. The extra-long winter we had seems to have thrown off the ripening schedule of most gardens across this growing zone. I am glad it is not just me, but still.

Cucumber beetles have hit the garden like crazy! This is the worst year we have ever had. My bug protection has been kind of hit and miss. I bought some Sevin dust, but it is way too toxic and I will not use it for plants. I ran out of diatomaceous earth dust. I purchased Neem oil, and am trying to remember to spray the plants down after it rains.

That brings me to the next thing... it hasn't really been raining. This is the driest July on record for my area. Add to that the fact that, for some unknown reason, zucchini hasn't really cared for the conditions this year. I am seeing in gardening groups that other gardeners are having the same issues with zucchini as I am all across Zone 5b, from coast to coast. 

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The largest source of confusion and frustration has been my prized tomatoes. I've planted nearly two dozen varieties of them. The garden is my heart, but the tomatoes are specifically my babies. I take tremendous pride in my tomatoes. They are the joy of my life when they get fat, fat, fatter and then bloom in all colors, shapes, and sizes. 

This year, my garden keeps falling down! I kid you not, I wake up in the morning and entire chunks of my garden are on the ground! Booh Bear and I go out and I hold the plants up while she zip ties the branches loosely (but not so much that they would slip) to the cattle panel.

At first, we thought that it was the weight of the squash pulling my vines to the ground. I thought that that was odd, given that my squash, cucumbers, and cantaloupes have long held up the tomatoes without ever choking a single plant. They have never fallen before. Nevertheless, I was so convinced that this was the only explanation which made sense, so I posted exactly that on FB. We cut out six or seven spaghetti squash, butternut squash, and pumpkins (although those we took bc they were turning color and I wanted to take stress off of the plant so I can get more pumpkins) and set them out to finish ripening on the patio. We fastened the vines back up and prayed that the tomatoes weren't too traumatized. 

To my shock, it happened again! This time, we had finally gotten rain. It wasn't loud. It didn't feel like much, but when we went up my garden was in pieces hanging onto the ground. That time, I attributed it to storms. Roughly two days later, it happened again. My beautiful, bushy garden which looks like an overly confident jungle has instead turned into this sad, patchy game of "Lynn cannot keep her plants up off the ground." It is July and I can see big sections of cattle panel. This shouldn't be happening! It has been somewhat demoralizing.

No matter what we do, I keep losing chunks of my garden. We patch up what we can and wake up in no time to find chunks falling down again. 

On top of that (I know... will this blog post never end?), it began to look like bunnies might be a problem for the first time ever. We have a straw bale garden and we grow our tomatoes upward. Bunnies don't need to get to my tomatoes, and the few times they did in the past I always think, "Aww, how cute. We are feeding bunnies!" This year, we are picking the tomatoes that hang low (because let's face it, that is all of them at some point now) and allowing them to ripen on trays out on the patio. I am determined to see some of my hard work pay off, darn it!

OKAY... so now we get to the part where the intentional spoiler of the blog post title comes in. Booh Bear was in the garden harvesting (saving the lives of) huge green tomatoes when she spotted my very first ripe hillbilly tomato. It was bigger than the size of my hand (I can palm a basketball, friend... I do not have dainty hands), and that gorgeous yellow and red signature shading. It was heaven!! Except... well, it had been bitten into and was ruined. *this is where we cry softly*

That tomato and one other about as large, just like it, solved the falling garden mystery. The tomato was far above bunny height. It was not bitten into with tiny bites like a rabbit or raccoon or squirrel. No, these were massive bites. For context, we once had a big old stray German Shepherd come through and steal a tomato in front of our eyes. These bites were this big, but also higher than a large dog would know to go. (He had stolen one off of the patio that year.)

It finally hit me. Oh my soul, deer! Somehow, somewhere, the deer everyone always talks about have discovered the location of my bountiful garden! Ugh! :( :( :( :( What else can reach up that tall and takes bites that big? If a neighbor was eating my tomatoes, they would pick them off and steal them away home. Nope, it has to be deer. 

We put up as much of the garden as we could again, and came out this morning to it having been downed... again. These intruders are destroying my garden! *ugly cry goes here* You can tell me to put up a fence, but I can't. Not only am I not allowed to per the city (not just the HOA) because we live on an easement, I also cannot bc I check with 811 and there are pipes and wires and crap around there. 

SO, there you have it. We are still harvesting tomatoes that we can and eating the different ripe small tomatoes. We eat them too quickly to get a sufficient picture of harvesting them by the basket-loads like last year. I am still hoping and praying that more tomatoes will ripen so fast that they cannot be pilled by man nor beast. In the meantime, our ton of green tomatoes are ripening slowly, kind of one by one. 

I will end this novel with a simple list of the cherry tomatoes that we have tasted so far. The garden has not been in vain... it has just been somewhat of a battle and light discouragement. I won't give up, of course. We will keep doing what we can. I just think that my garden may possibly come to an unseasonably early end this year. I hope not, but we shall see.


Harvested tomatoes (I will try to have photos eventually!)

Golden Globe... 1-2" inch true yellow fruits (deeeelicious!)

Brandywine Cherry... much larger than just a cherry, with the shape, flavor, and color of their cousin the Brandywine

Pear-shaped cherries... these range from yellow to orange and seem to ripen the fastest

Pepper-shaped-cherry-paste... these are ones I said I do not know the true name of. I harvested the seeds from a tomato variety blend I bought from Sam's Club. They dried for a week, and then I planted them. They've done very well!

Sunrise Bumblebee... so far only one has come ripe (we will check tomatoes again later today). They are yellow and red striped cherry tomatoes with a great flavor

Golden Nugget... these are more of a round shape than the pear, and are quite small and orange

Actual Brandywine (yum!)
Large Yellow tomatoes

Large orange tomatoes

**Those last two were, I believe, the Big Rainbow I received last year which never developed red. They stayed yellow and orange. I was either sold the wrong seeds (and kept using them bc, yum!) or the red didn't develop bc of the weather conditions (I heard this posited in a garden group).


Anyway, we have a good handful of varieties ripening off of the vine. It is just going slowly. What a weird year! If you have any non-expensive deer-deterrent tips, please do share! I cannot put up a fence. I refuse to place toxins of any sort on my plants. I am not in a great place to spend a lot of money. I am also in no position to go 'deer hunting' in the middle of the city in what is probably not deer season anyway. 

In the meantime, happy gardening! <3 :) <3 

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