September Straw Bale Garden Update

It has been such a lovely day. I spent over four hours out in the garden. On these nice mornings, I find it almost impossible to drag myself back indoors.

At first, the day was thick with fog. It was heavy enough that it made me want to adjust my vision. The girls and I were watching and listening to the birds. We have such a great variety of them dancing around. Their beautiful blues, whites, browns, reds, blacks, yellows, purples, and greys make a fun contrast to the bright white and red berries now draping from bushes and vines that have grown up into the trees. I simply cannot get enough of their happy chatter.

The girls ate breakfast out on the patio. Shelly sat near me, as watchful as I. Giraffe bounced in and out of her chair. She inspected every new bug or chased down each sound she noticed. (She doesn't like to have insects come near her, even though she enjoys looking at them.) Both girls inspected the new flowers that have brightened the bushes. We've not seen these before. I learned today that they are called Goldenrod.

This home is perfectly situated for Hubs and me. I absolutely adore lighthouses. He adores planes. We didn't know when we chose to build in this neighborhood that there are two lighthouses we pass on the way in. One is part of a minigolf course. The other is in a backyard visible to the road. Our home is also in the path where small planes take off from the local airport. Perfect, no? When I realized this, I told Hubs that if I had ever doubted that the Lord had put us here (I didn't), the planes and lighthouses would have instantly confirmed that this is where we are meant to be. <3

I digress. Back to this morning. The kids went inside the house and did their schoolwork for the day. (I love how swiftly they move through it!) I stayed outside on the other side of the screen door (I am still their mom, after all!) and enjoyed the birds and animals a while longer, snacking on some Yellow Pear tomatoes. Delicious!

Giraffe finished her schoolwork and came back out to play on the swing; alternately swinging and flitting around me like the little butterfly she is. Her happy chit-chat scared away the birds, but it always brings a smile to my heart. :)

I moved over to prune the cantaloupes. I found a nice, ripe one smelling sweet in its crochet sling.

By then, Shell had also finished her schoolwork. I had her bring out a plate and a knife. The three of us sat under the cantaloup arch. I cut the melon and the girls ate it fresh, right there in the garden. *happy sigh*

After that, I enrolled Shell to help me finish pruning her cantaloupes. We took out all vines that were either dead or were not bearing fruit. The arch looked positively naked! lol It still does!

I was pruning below and she above when, fffffWUMP!!! Out of nowhere, a huge spider landed on the front of my shoulder!!! All I could see was its massive legs and abdomen! I screamed!

My kids jumped around exclaiming, "WHAT? What, Mom? What? Are you alright!?"

Honestly, I felt quite silly and a bit sad when I realized that the massive spider that had just received a frantic swatting was, in fact, a praying mantis! Oh, no! We love these guys, and this one was especially beloved. Shelly had discovered him living in the cantaloupes earlier this week. He seemed quite at home in our garden, content to eat bugs and wait on the arrival of a murderous girlfriend.

The girls and I, worried that I may have killed him, fussed over the poor thing. I apologized to him and the kids repeatedly. He was lying on the ground in shock.

Shell has a heart for all creatures. She tenderly lifted him into her hand and carried him the next arch over to recover on one of the giant leaves of the butternut squash plant. We have kept a gentle eye on him all day. I am pleased to report that he came to, and has moved around the garden to stalk bugs.

Being September already, the plants are winding down along with the year. Bees arrive later every day. I like to imagine that they remain nestled in their hives, waiting for the cool temperatures to rise. Fog or mist more frequently hangs in the air and stunning diamond droplets of dew kiss the leaves and petals all around. Young squirrels dart furtively through the trees, waiting for us to come inside so they can forage.

The dawn sunlight peeks over the neighboring trees and houses at a slightly different angle now; setting the arches and panels of our garden aglow, yet casting a chill shadow over the patio near the door where I sit. Sun warms my legs and feet; shade covers the rest of my body.

Purple Dragon Carrots came up small but incredibly tasty. Next year I won't make the mistake of planting them in a container. Watermelon Radishes I thought needed more time sprouted flowers and start to bolt. Their white-wrapped fuschia bulbs tasted slightly bitter because I waited too long. Nature's massive heartbeat, so like the comforting thud of my dad's, has begun to slow. Everything around is ready to move on but I, it seems.

We have stripped away the cucumber vines. Absent their buds and leaves, the annoying but pretty cucumber beetles find less reason to hang out. Solitary Butternut and Spaghetti Squash vines remain, each nurturing a final fruit. I have decided to cook them in some special way.

Tomatoes are yawning. I pruned a lot of excessive foliage; preparing for the day when they need to be removed. It seemed timely given the cooler nights. It is interesting how you can practically feel it in your body; the way they go from booming reds, oranges, and yellows to almost struggling to ripen. There will be no new bread-sized tomatoes. The ones that remain will pink up smaller than those we picked before. They will be cool to the touch. This is when tomatoes lose their appeal to me.

Yes, the garden is almost done for the year. I suppose I could be considered almost hopelessly romantic about the entire thing. I breathe more deeply, feel more peaceful, and live my life intrinsically connected to what is happening outside my back door.

There is a rhythm to everything in nature. Spring first teases of new life with buds, sprouts, and the courting calls of birds. Summer buzzes in at a breakneck speed. Cicadas' shrill vibrations ring in the trees. Bees zing around plants; at first light with their busywork pollinating countless blooms. Before long they labor more slowly, looping and dropping under heavy loads of pollen. I chuckle to myself, "Go back to the hive! You can barely fly!" They never do. Blossoms of all sizes beckon them: nature's variegated boastings of extravagant growth. Autumn then cheers us with brightly colored berries in the bushes as birds begin to slip away. Leaves turn bright and flutter to the ground in an effort to distract us from the coming winter. And come winter does, bringing with it the desiderium of seasons gone by.

And I? I look covetously out the window, dreaming again of summer and bees and the next verdant garden to come.

Throw-Away Christianity

I cannot help but notice how deeply Christian families struggle to accept LGBTQ+ friends or family members. News items of interest are never shared by the families I know who are struggling, yet I see it all around me. These matters are spoken quietly and discreetly. It is common enough that I would dare to say that most of us have family members or friends in the LGBTQ+ community by now. The world is so beautifully diverse. <3 Why are Christians still hiding 'in the closet' on behalf of their loved ones? We should be well past the time when we couldn't openly discuss these matters. More than just discuss them, we should be able to communicate freely in a way that is not punitive.

I know some of that internal struggle comes from the pressure people know they will face if their loved one is 'found out' by other Christians. Frankly, this sincerely breaks my heart. One shouldn't feel pressure from their faith community to hide away or outright reject loved ones, especially in this day and age.

I sometimes want to ask, "Don't you know that *we* are the ones who can change that?" It isn't as hard as it is made out to be! Christian families shouldn't be afraid to 'come out' with a loved one. They should already be on the 'love your neighbor' side of the fence! When a person chooses to share who they are, it should not be a crisis. The Christian reaction is supposed to be one of love and compassion. It is not supposed to be about rejection.

Perhaps these are not popular thoughts among very legalistic religious circles. That's okay. I don't care anymore. I am so tired of hiding my own compassion when compassion and understanding were always supposed to have been the norm. It needs to be said, perhaps repeatedly, until everyone lives it effortlessly: If your loved ones are living lifestyles you disagree with, it doesn't change a single thing about your faith. It doesn't change a single thing about your God. It doesn't change your mandate to love, and should in no way change your relationship with or attitude towards them.

I am so very through being associated with "throw-away" Christians. You know the type. If you do not agree with them, toss! You're gone. If you are found "in sin", toss! You're gone! If your family member commits adultery, has premarital sex, or comes out in any way, shape, or form that goes against what they view as acceptable - flip! Out the door with all of you! I would refer to them as kick-you-when-you're-down Christians. The very same people who God says are on the earth to lift one another up! These misguided persons are otherwise invested in slashing one another to ribbons under the guise of 'iron sharpeneth iron'. It is exhausting. It is sickening. It is wrong. Haven't we had enough?

I have known hundreds, if not thousands, of them. I came from them. I was them, and I genuinely thought that I was a loving person. I just happened to love everyone enough to tell them how wrong they were. Ugh.

Eventually, as a young adult, none of it sat right with me. I worked hard to distance myself, but I didn't speak up. I was still timid, afraid. I have so thoroughly been taught fear by the same people who teach that perfect love casts out all fear. There are countless examples of 'truth in love' hate speech that I could pull from my own life, from the lives of friends, and from so very many people in the tightly-wound Christian groups I used to be part of on Facebook back when we first joined. I joined a lighter version (I thought) a few years back and *still* found mountains of backbiting, mocking behavior. They feed each other like cancer.

(Maybe I should thank that last set. Their horrifying racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and in general evil, angry, "tough love" hatred of all persons who did not believe down the line what they do is what shocked me into the reality that we simply cannot get away with this anymore. I wanted all the way out!)

I digress.

I will be honest, I have repeatedly put off writing this blog over the years. The irony is not lost to me that I was afraid on some level to write 'out loud' that I disagree with the religion I grew up in on this matter and others. I felt that I would be thrown away by too many people who used to be influential in my life.

In reality, I can now say with confidence to those who maybe do still feel that people deserve to be rejected or ignored for what you perceive to be sinful:

Throw me in the toss pile, as well. I belong there, and I will be just fine without you.

I am well aware of the scriptures people cling to when throwing away their loved ones like so much trash. I could quote them just as fast as anyone who chooses to use them to disagree with my stance. I did not arrive at this conclusion for a lack of reading or understanding the Bible.

I believe that we choose to focus more heavily on different parts. For one, regardless of what you believe counts as sin, Christ died for it. For another, regardless of what you feel makes you personally a sinner by association (that's another rant entirely), Christ says to love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself. These are, as we all know, the two greatest commandments. Loving the people around you is not a threat to God. Beyond that, you are not innocent either. Remember, *all* have sinned.

In my life, that "all" starts with me.

1 Timothy 1:15 "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief."

 

If you identify as a Christian it starts with you, too.

If you read this with an open heart and find that you are presently struggling with silence and shame on behalf of 'the church', give yourself permission to stop worrying and start living freely in Christ's footsteps. Be the person you are afraid that others will reject. Be that compassion, that light! Shine in darkness by not being the judge and jury over someone else's life. Don't be afraid to keep loving your family member or friend. Don't leave them out of daily life or gatherings. Keep on loving them. Keep on embracing them. Remember the "cast the first stone" principle and, like the accusers in the Bible, walk away from the need to punish someone else. That is not your job. You are not the Holy Spirit.

We cannot change things that we keep hidden and quiet. We cannot make the world better if we do not all actively engage in conversation and in making said changes. The church is supposed to be the safest place of all. When Jesus ravaged the temple for being misused, He walked out the door and right back among sinners. It took nothing but love, compassion, and understanding to show the way by example. Why is this such a hard concept for us to mimic? How have we so deeply entrenched ourselves in Pharisaical religious tradition that we would rather protect it than simply live how we are commanded to live? God did not create this throw-away Christianity. We did.

People who think rejection is a form of showing love baffle me. This is not how Jesus lived. We can do better. We must do better. If you have an out and proud family member, don't whisper about them in secret. Love them openly.

August Straw Bale Garden Update

 

August has already arrived, and is over halfway gone! Can you believe it? As you can see from this panoramic photo, the garden keeps on growing. :)

Here is one morning's haul. :) My kiddos harvested everything here! Included are nine varieties of tomatoes. Those are Yellow Pear, Little Rosey Finch, Red Cherry, Roma, Rio Grande, Wapsipinicon Peach, Pineapple Heirloom, Hillbilly Potato Leaf, and Pink Brandywine. We also have some very small Spaghetti Squash (pictured), Green Bell Peppers, and cucumbers. We have more on the vine, of course, but only two were ready to be harvested this morning.

Our personal favorite tomatoes are the Pink Brandywine. Not only are they absolutely delicious, but they are also massive! These big boys have been on the menu daily here in our home. We have made more BLT sandwiches than you can probably count! This tomato has a rich flavor, is in no way bland, but also isn't terribly acidic. Each slab (lol) of tomato lays like steak, covering the entire slice of bread. Yum! In short, it is the *perfect* sandwich tomato!

Our arches did experience die-off after vine borer moths had their way with our squash and zucchini. There are new vines planted, which are still small yet. To my delight, we still had enough Butternut Squash, cucumbers, and canteloupe still growing that - while visibly thinned out - the arches do not look entirely decimated. :) Even better, they are still laden with goodies!

The littles and I did something new this year. We decided to make support nets for our hanging fruits and vegetables! 

YouTube and Google both brought up options, of course. One can make slings out of old hosiery. (Honestly, do people still wear those things?) That isn't an option for me. For one, ew. Also, I wouldn't even know where to buy them now. 

There is also the option of using old tee shirts cut into strips. Meh. Neither choice seemed inspired. I wanted something made of cotton yarn. I looked for a crochet pattern with no luck. So, we came up with our own! Our garden is now supported by many colorful yarn slings!

Our watermelons had a bit of a flop. First, Shell was adjusting our full-sized melon and accidentally knocked it off of the vine. While light pink, it was in no way ripe. Then, our only other melon stopped growing. While tiny, it had all of the markers of being ripe. It made for a refreshing addition to lunch one afternoon. We currently have one tiny melon growing, and two new vines sprouting. We may see a ripe full-sized melon yet!

I mentioned last month that we would be seeding the second set of squashes and other goodies. We did! Here is a zucchini finally growing vine borer-free! Perhaps next year, I should simply wait until the end of July to sew any of these at all?

We also sewed the next batch of radishes, beets, cabbages, carrots, and additional spaghetti squash. These are in varying stages of sprouting right now. To be honest, I had forgotten about the cabbage. We were delighted when two little heads popped up! :) 

The green peppers continue to put out batch after batch. Unfortunately, bugs are getting to quite a few of them, keeping them small and ugly. No matter - we gather what we can. 

I am sure that I am leaving something out. The raspberry bush is still too young to produce. Strawberries grow well enough but are all stolen by rabbits. My Purple Dragon Carrots have still tucked away under the dirt - no visible shoulders yet. Canning tomatoes are ripening, but are being eaten too fast to can. (ha!)

The potatoes sit quietly in their pot, minding their own business. I do not expect the plant to die for a while, yet. They occasionally get flooded by a good rain.

My's lettuce is finally coming up, now that the intense heat has backed off a bit. I look forward to fresh salads full of home-grown-from-seed goodies!

Our herbs also continue to grow well. Shell asked me why I grow them if I don't use them. I do *intend* to learn how to use them. Does that count? ;) We have enjoyed a lot of fresh food this year, both raw and cooked into dishes like BLT sandwiches, vegetable pizza, roasts and soups, in pasta, etc.

Also, the parsley is there to entice swallowtail butterflies. :) We haven't seen a single one so far. This is the first year that has ever happened. Still, I cling to hope. Swallowtails are my very favorite! The bees came back. Perhaps the butterflies will, as well. Next year, I need to add more flowers to the yard.

I think that about wraps up this update. I have loads of pictures to share, but I think these will do for now. We go out almost every morning, first thing. We bring out our chairs and sit there, relishing in the fresh air. The chirping of birds and buzzing of bees fills the soul.

Some mornings, we just rest. Other times, I can be out there for around three and a half hours pruning. I like to harvest, but so do the kids. I tend to let them have that pleasure. You are only young once, and I know the intense satisfaction of gleaning from plants you've sewn and tended. I am thrilled for them to have that experience! I even chuckle to myself when they are in the tomatoes fighting over who gets to pluck which one. haha

Before long, autumn will be in the air. We are already starting to witness leaves dancing down to the ground on the breezes. For now, my garden has shed its first life and is sprouting the second round of infant vegetables and fruits. There is a certain contentment in staying so nearly literally grounded. I find immense peace here with my little family. God is good.

"So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase." 1 Cor 3:7

"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end." Ecc 3:11

Straw Bale Garden Update July 2020

Are you ready for pictures? :) Here comes the July update on our straw bale garden! :) As you can see, the difference since our last update is pretty clear. :) Plants which were just sprouts or (in some cases) seeds are growing merrily up trellises and over the arches. To say that we are excited would be an understatement. We are completely enthralled!

Shelly can be found in the garden every single day, checking on cantaloupe. :) They grew more slowly than the squash, perhaps, but once they got going, look out! There are presently 13 wee cantaloupes growing on the inside left of this arch! You can see her carefully counting each one, sizing them up, and looking to see how many more might show up soon. 

This same arch also boasts cucumbers, spaghetti squash, and even a random yellow pear tomato plant that my little Pie planted. We started yellow pear seeds after realizing that some of our other varieties may fail. As always, when she helps put in seeds, my youngest always ends up surprising us with plants growing in the 'wrong' places. haha That statement is only half true, however. We like to think that any place a plant comes up happens to be the 'right' place. ;) ;) ;)

Another surprise we encountered in the garden this year came in the form of our zucchini. I was having trouble getting my Black Beauty plant to survive. Desperate to have zucchini to share with "the neighbors in the grey house" (who really, REALLY love the stuff) after two bad years in a row, I had Hubs pick up some zucchini plants at the store. Wouldn't you know, these warty looking yellow guys showed up! haha Those are apparently called "yellow crookneck squash". They are a type of vegetable that is something of zucchini or summer squash. I hear that they are tasty. We shall see! :) 

As you can also see in the picture above, we have another summer squash. This one was intentional. Ha! This is our spaghetti squash. We have three really big guys. I am sorry the picture to the right is so dark. I had Shelly put her hands on each end to try to get an idea of how big it is. They are every bit the size a spaghetti squash should be, and have only to ripen. :) These will keep well through the fall, too. :) The squash plants have fallen victim to vine borer bugs. Boo! However, we knew to plan for this. I have retained some seeds. We will be laying in a second crop. They will have plenty of time to grow and 'bear fruit' by season's end. 

The green peppers are both flowering and producing. The peppers we planted in the bales came from the store. They are only about half the size of the plants that came from my very own seeds. :) Those plants are the ones I referred to a month ago in the last update. We had given up on their seeds germinating and dumped the dirt into a planter. Since then, they've grown quite tall! They are just now bringing forth little peppers. As to the smaller plants in the bale, all in a row, every plant there has at least one pepper. :)

Here is a peek at my admittedly small potato plant. Lacking in size though it may be, it still brings me great joy! Again I cite the difficulty I had even finding seed potatoes. The one time I thought I found Yukon Gold seed potatoes and made my purchase, instead of a 'shipped' notification from the vendor, I received a notice of order cancellation and refund. *That* is how hard it was! Thank God one of my store-bought potatoes (for eating) sprouted! :) We cannot wait to see how well it yields later in the year. 

To the left is a picture of a small, happy little watermelon. :) I had seeds for 'Sugar Baby' and 'icebox', so we planted both. It was only recently that I learned that the Sugar Baby variety of watermelon is considered an 'icebox' watermelon because it can fit into the refrigerator. haha So much for having two varieties! Ah, well. We tried! 

You can see that this little guy is tucked into a sling. I saw videos online about using pantyhose or tee-shirts to support heavy produce growing vertically. I thought, "I can do the exact same thing using cotton yarn and crochet!" So I did. Or rather, *we* did! Both Pie and Shelly have been crocheting slings with me! :)

In this next picture we have a cucumber. :) I think I will end on this photo today, actually. There are more things to show, but these updates get so very long! haha I probably should break them into parts more often. These cucumbers are growing very well. We have some growing up the right side of either arch. While not my favorite cukes of all time, I am pleased with the output. :) 

So, anyhow, there we are for today's update. I will show up again later on and we will talk tomatoes. ;) In the meantime, happy gardening to all! Be blessed. <3

Straw Bale Garden June 2020 Update

                               

My lovey new arches!

I suppose you can already tell that I could not decide which picture to use, hm? lol The garden is off and growing well for the 2020 season. As you can see, we have made some changes. :) In previous years, we have trellised just the back strip of bales. I have long wished to add a panel up the right side. We finally did! Also, Hubs and Shelly installed two lovely arches! Those, like the trellis sets, are simply made using 't' posts and 16' cattle panels. 

Because it is May

I find myself sitting here in tears again, missing you. I tell myself that is because it is May. This month brings around the day we would have celebrated as your birthday. We always associate it with grilling out on the patio, because it so often coincides with Memorial Day weekend. 

The memories are so vivid. You, at the grill. My hubs and the other guys hanging out chatting around you. Mom, myself, and any sisters who are present all floating about alternating between food prep and tending the needs of the children. Oh, the children! Your seventeen beloved grandbabies! Each one a masterpiece blend of the generations preceding them. Each one unique! Papa's beautiful girls and handsome boys!

Gosh, Dad. How is it that you have been gone now for three years? I read my poem "Before You Sleep" this morning. I had been thinking about it for days now, maybe a week. There is this new show on television in which the lead is experiencing the decline and passing of her father. It is all too real, Dad. It is so similar in so many ways. 

I recall with visceral clarity the ache of watching you die. I still struggle with feelings of unfairness that I had a broken-down car at the time. I struggle with jealousy over sisters who got to see you, sing to you, love on you while you were awake. I was there, Dad. I was there! I am the one who showed up at night when there were emergencies. I was there in the dark hours where you weren't conscious and couldn't come to! Me, hubs, our babies... we were there for you, too! 

That seemed to define how I felt about your death. In fact, it still defines my life in a lot of ways. I am there for my friends when they are in the dark. I am there when nobody else is; when rays of light fail to shine through. Sometimes, I feel as though I have become darkness itself, so adept am I at walking through pain and grief. 

I wish you were here, Dad. I miss you every waking minute of every day. You do not show up in my dreams the way you once did. I dreamt so vividly of you those months and especially the days leading up to your death. I dreamed you were giving your final sermons in so many of the places you've preached in your life. The night before you died, I dreamed about a young soldier in a casket in the living room of our C.A. house. I promised myself that it wasn't you bc he was so very young, tall, and thin. I justified that by reminding myself that you did not get to be a soldier. And yet, he wasn't in uniform. He was in your suit. Plus, he looked exactly like you do in your college photos. I know it *was* you, Dad. I had to finally admit it when you went and died right after I had that dream. You always talked about being a Christian soldier. How fitting that my last dream during your life was you in the 'uniform' of a minister? God's soldier.

*sigh*

And you are still gone. All three years of learning how to walk with grief and breathe through the rawest moments have led to today: and today I am still sitting here in this house in this life and wishing you were alive and ten days away from a family celebration. I wish your nurse hadn't said "not tonight", so I could have been with you one last time. I wish we had gotten to sing you to Jesus the way you deserve. I wish I could rewrite history so that I had come up to visit the weekend before like I was supposed to. 

You couldn't bear for your girls to be hurting, I know. You said plenty of times that you don't want us to be sad. I feel sometimes that I let you down by grieving so hard. But see, Dad, it isn't a failure to move on. This is exactly how I *do* move on. Your love was as gigantic as your arms stretched around us. We still feel it, even now. So, please forgive my tears on the hard days, okay? I haven't lost faith in God... I don't cry because I cannot see the promise of Heaven in the distance. I just need to get out the everyday loss when it hits me the worst. 

You are such a beautiful soul, Dad. Thank you for everything you lent to us during your time on earth. Lessons learned, moments shared, love shown in action: all of it will continue to be cherished! So, for now, during this month which is yours, I will continue to get out these immense feelings of grief. I will wipe away fresh tears and tell my children that I am okay. I am just feeling melancholy and wistful...  

because it is May.

Spring 2020

This year has been wildly different than I ever could have imagined. Generally when we hear about epidemics or pandemics, they are "out there" in the world. They come and go with our thoughts and prayers, but they don't reach home. Thanks to covid-19, that has all changed. We join the rest of the planet finding ourselves in a muted life spent mostly at home. I think I will be better able to handle the claustrophobia of social distancing once spring has decided to truly stick around. With that in mind, here is my first garden update of the year. :)

Lettuce abounds! Ha! This picture practically needs no introduction! ;) I started my gardening earlier than usual. Given my struggles with depression and anxiety, sometimes starting seeds and growing things means the difference between being sad and getting truly dark. Having living things in the house is my lifeline.

As usual, I do not stick with too many of the exact same plants. I have my favorites, of course. Pink brandywine tomatoes and Hillbilly Potato Leaf tomatoes will always grace my garden. I grow lettuce every year, but the variety changes. Cucumbers will probably make a show at some point. I have zucchini, of course, for my neighbor who loves it. But we all know that I like to continually try to grow new varieties of fruits and veggies.

The plants new to us this year are: watermelon radish, purple dragon carrot, cucamelon, pineapple tomato, chives, catnip, and tigger melon. If you look these up, you will see that we have gone with some brightly colorful and interesting produce! <3

Tigger melon, for instance, has the pattern of a watermelon but in oranges and yellows instead of green. It is said to be sweet. :) Cucamelon is a type of gherkin. It, too, looks like a watermelon. The difference is not in the color but in the size. They are very, very small! Eeep! Watermelon radish inverts the traditional radish coloring, with a pale greenish-white on the outside and a vibrant fuchsia on the inside. Dragon carrots are the loveliest shade of dark purple on the outside, hiding the traditional orange core.

I think I will be better able to handle the claustrophobia of social distancing once spring has decided to *really* stick around. With my bales arriving tomorrow sometime, I am positively itching to get my back yard all garden-messy again. :) :) :)

Going outside fixes just about everything, doesn't it? The tomatoes I started too early are kind of limping along. I am looking forward to setting in a new batch of seeds hopefully late this week. My lettuce is trying to take over the place. My zucchini plants are perfection. The catnip is taller every day. I am charmed by the wee chives and MyLinda's suflower (planted from bird seed mix). I am enchanted by my tigger melon and cucamelon vines. I check MyLinda's watermelon radishes eagerly for signs of fattening up in the root. :) :) :) Even the dragon carrot experiment has captured our fascination. Birds are singing their love songs. They dance the mating dances of spring in the yard and the trees. **This blog was written but not completed or posted sometime in April 2020. ;) Right now we are in mid-May. I am due to create a proper blog post soon. <3

Mother's Day

Thank you for being my children, Giraffe and Koala!

Lord, thank you for bringing them to us. <3 Thank you for conquering both infertility and loss on our way to becoming a family. Help us to continue to be loving and open; willing to always grow together. <3 You are out comfort, our guide, and our inspiration.

I love you, babies! I am eternally grateful to be your mom. <3

Coronavirus School Closings: A Letter to my Home Educating Peers

Dear Fellow Home Educators,

It is on my heart that we parents who are already used to working with our littles from home need to be mindful of how we support our public school peers during the COVID-19 school closings. It is no small thing to suddenly find the full weight of your child's education dropped in your lap. A few points to remember:

• We had the privilege of choice: each of us consciously decided to try home education. Some driving core belief backed that decision.
• In most cases, we had the benefit of forethought. Most of us had time between our decision and day one of school.
• We are familiar with the curriculum. We researched painstakingly, taking our time to choose what we hoped would be the best material for our specific children. We poured over it once it arrived, figuring out how to properly divide and teach the work load. We continue to this every single day.

This is not the case with our public school friends and family. The woke up one morning to the announcement that school was closing. They have been handed weeks (or more) worth of homework that was meant to be discussed and doled out in a specific way by an already-established teacher. 

The curriculum was predetermined and already 3/4 done. They were given all of this homework and essentially told "resume". Resume from what? Somewhere in the stack of all of this paperwork is the answer, but where? I am hearing reports that teachers are only available to answer questions a few hours a day. How can a teacher address the concerned caregivers of dozens of students in that short amount of time?

Life is hard for any parent; especially moms, as women still shoulder the lion's share of responsibility in most homes. Our decisions are constantly questioned and judged. This is doubly so for single parents. We all know that each child is different. We have to remember that each adult is different, as well. No two families will have an identical experience.

What can we do during this time of shocking transition to be present for our friends and family?

• Offer Love and Support
  
  This doesn't mean that you should stop all social distancing and take in every child on the block. Help in a reasonable way wherever you can. Offer an open and gracious heart. Listen to concerns. Help weed through the intent of paperwork that may seem confusing. Talk on the phone. Text. Message. Video conference. You won't have all of the answers (Who does?), but you can ease some of the mental load.

• Do Not Push
  
  Offering help is step one. Make yourself available where possible, but absolutely *do not* get pushy. You are the sitting expert on home schooling your *own* children. If you have done this for any amount of time, you know that no two children learn in an identical fashion.
  
  In other words, this is *not* the time to try to prove a point. Home education is hard, dedicated, sometimes thankless work... we know. That doesn't mean this is the right time to prove that. You know those people who have been rude about your choices all along? Those parents who pop-quiz your child, even though their own kids are struggling? Yeah, be nice to them. Try to channel Mr. Rogers, if that is what it takes.
  
  This is not the time to try to force your personal ideals, beliefs, or methods of success onto already-overwhelmed families. Be there, but be there gently. Remind them that they have everything they need to succeed, because we all *want* each other to succeed.

• Be Encouraging
  
  Encourage decompression. Children who are suddenly trying to balance home and school *need* to decompress. The structure of a classroom is entirely different than suddenly having to obey mom or dad when it comes to schoolwork. We emphasize decompression to families who are transitioning out of public school and into home education: this is not much different. Children are likely to act out, and adults and children both can become confused, frustrated, and anxious.
  
  Encourage movement and playtime. Remember how fundamentally important it is to protect the mental health state of each person. Let the children play! Let them wiggle! :) A well-exercised body aids a focused mind. Taking breaks is essential.
  
  Encourage them to find their own schedule. This their home and we as a world have almost all suddenly found ourselves with loads of time on our hands. Encourage them to try different orders to their day. Learn which child needs more of a set schedule, or which needs slight variations. It is okay to experiment.

The already-existing home education community has a rare, sweeping opportunity to bring our two communities into harmony and understanding with one another. We have a chance to be symbiotic rather than opposing each other. 

We *must* not take this opportunity to rub it in society's collective face that now they get a fractional sample of how hard *we* work every single day.

We must not be haughty, mocking, derisive, patronizing, or snide. We already know the fundamental truth that being solely responsible for your child's education can be impossibly hard some days. I have already seen comments about how this school break isn't even real homeschooling. I understand that. I know exactly what that means. However, that doesn't mean that this doesn't feel like homeschooling to these families. 

Social distancing brings with it a combination of e-learning and written homework. The experience will be easier for some and harder for others. In that aspect, it is not too different from home schooling. Some of us were really meant to be doing it: others struggle more. At the end of the day we are *all* trying to do what is best for our children. There is no "better" parent. There never was.

Let our conversations be seasoned with love, grace, confidence, and kindness. Let us be this way - not out of pity or because we find anyone to be lacking, but out of the decency of our own souls. Let our hearts communicate openly. Nobody likes to feel vulnerable, but right now we all need each other. We walk a divergent path. Now is the time to celebrate that! Let us do so with cheer. :)

When the world begins to open back up and everything inevitably comes to an end, may we parents all have proven to have strengthened one another. May we sincerely understand and appreciate each other's paths. May we be more respectful when talking about educational choices in the future. 

May we also realize on a very personal level the true value of the people who spend their time educating our children.

#PayYourTeachersBetterAfterThis