This post is going to be tricky to write. However, I feel as though it is necessary. I want to address something which has come to be known as 'church hurt'.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Friday, June 14, 2019
Saturday, August 26, 2017
Faith Like Dad's
In a world where God is mocked as a fairy tale or a crutch, I have seen Him carry a man into unconditional love. I have seen faith carry a man with grace and dignity to his grave. I know faith.
Religion seems so ugly these days. People are so hot from all different walks of faith that religion on the whole seems like an unnecessary load of hatred. Who could possibly want that? But when you look at people for whom it was a personal relationship, like my dad, you can understand what it is *supposed* to be.
My dad never wavered in his faith or his beliefs for a moment. His doctrine remained fixed to the end. He spent years behind the pulpit and could preach a hellfire and damnation sermon with the best. Yet, by and large, people remember him as a man who was always willing to help and who always had a smile and a positive attitude... a gentle giant to the end. His love spoke volumes louder than any sermon he ever preached.
This year was the first birthday in my entire life without his birthday greetings and booming "and many more" at the end of the song, Happy Birthday. That was incredibly hard. I will never again have my beautiful, strong dad on this earth. I miss his laughter in a way that aches so that I fear I may never be able to breathe correctly again. However, I *do* have his testimony. I *do* have his story. I will shout it and I will share it, every chance that I get.
Faith matters because in the end it is about you and God, one on one. Who cares what the religions of the world look like, if we miss that fundamental truth? Faith is what sustains you and brings you peace when you go through horrifying things like he did. ALS is an ugly way to die. It is horrific from start to finish. How could he get through that with grace and dignity? And yet, he did. These bibles show the years of time and use he put into reading and studying Scripture. They are evidence of how important his God and his faith were in his life. Faith may not matter to the mocker but it is everything to some.
We may not see God anywhere in the masses of people arguing online but I tell you, I saw God in the room with my dad all day every day, just as He was visible during other intense trying times in our lives. *That* is what it all comes down to. Faith is nothing at all, if it is not personal.
*Photo credits to my sister, Yaya. <3
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Thoughts on my Religion
Today my aunt shared a link to a blog about the IFB. For those of you who do not recognize the acronym, it means independent, fundamental Baptist. It is a denomination built on the premise that we are independent churches that (oddly enough) are NOT a combined denomination. IFB is a way to recognize the generic shared doctrine of churches which remain independent of larger group organization. Now, his thoughts and my thoughts to follow NEED to be taken with the understanding that not all Christians and not all churches (IFB or otherwise) are this way. However, it is a pattern that has emerged over time and which must be changed. Indeed, many people are trying so hard to change it even now.
Anyway, here is the article she shared:
http://reversediscipleship.blogspot.com/2014/03/what-happened-to-us.html
My reaction to this article is strong. This man addresses so much of what my generation has been expressing. I know that a lot of us (adults in our thirties) are breaking away from the strict, formidable stereotype of our predecessors. In the comments section, the author addressed pastors. He said,
My pastor is one such man. Gracious, loving, kind, humble (there is one trait we miss a lot in the IFB)... he is a wonderful guy and a true example of what a shepherd should be.
I was born and raised an IFB preacher's kid. I married a man who became an evangelist, and for now is a church member who preaches where he can. I have worn the shackles of man-created, man-glorifying standards my entire life. I wore them joyfully, and did not perceive them as shackles. I knew what "real Christians" look like, and I looked like all of them.
My spouse and I experienced horrific spiritual abuse ten years ago. It took five years after that for the glass bubble I was living in to shatter, and the mud to be scraped from my eyes. In my deepest time of depression and despair, it was people I were taught were the 'wrong kind of Christians' who saw and tended my brokenness and my needs. I am IFB, my husband intends to stay IFB, but we are no longer the same. We are changed, and we attend a church of changed people serving with a changed pastor.
In years past, I have seen the pattern repeating all around me in our IFB world. The broken are condemned for breaking, and kicked while they are down. I have watched dear friends being battered until they flee - yes, flee - their churches for the abuse they were under during their time of need. They weren't even sinning! They were hurting, and in turn for their pain were flogged and mistreated, heartlessly turned on and left in a heap. I have supported these friends with every fiber of my being because I know what that abuse feels like.
Where Christ would draw us in, we would keep one another at arm's length for fear of being dragged down. We are so convinced of the rightness of our works, that, while we believe they do not save us, we believe them to be evidence of that salvation. Fruits of the spirit, we call these standards we cling to. We work really hard and in many cases believe that we are the same at home as we are in church, because really do try SO hard to be pious. Many, many of us are not "Sunday only" Christians.
The problem is that what we are, to our shock, judgmental on one side and secretive on the other. We wear a mask of 'strength'. We hide our imperfections so that we can be a good testimony to other people, completely missing the point that the unchanging theme through the Bible is of God using imperfect people! God uses our infirmities for His glory, yet we are so wrapped up in standards... and in enforcing them... that we do not reveal the cracks! Worse yet, we call this strength! Where God says to "Bear ye one another's burdens", we spend our days 'sucking it up'. We call those who do air their pains and concerns 'dramatic', or figure they are seeking attention. We take pride in our independence and self sustaining.
The severe and heartless condemnation of one another is more Pharisee than child of God. It has taken time, study, repentance and something else that I did not know how to accomplish... acceptance of God's grace... for me to reach this place where I *hope* I am more like the living example of Christ. I am still changing. Every day, every week, every month, every year I am changing and I hope, growing in Christ.
It is easy to get hung up on the wrathful and vengeful God. After all, we do not preach a loving God; we preach an Almighty God. This God we preach handles His. He is not just love and cupcakes and rainbows. God the Father has shown wrath to the world, it is true! We preach heartily about His wrath, His anger, His chastisement of His children, but we ignore the living example of humanity that He gave us. Jesus Christ!
Yes! Yes, He did! God's son was not just sent do die, though! I believe wholeheartedly that He was sent as an example of what humanity - Christian humanity - aught to look like! He overthrew the tables in the temple ONCE!!! ONCE!! Why? Because His house was being used improperly! I know Christians who justify all kinds of bad behavior on the premise that God got angry. They drag out His temple-tossing like the be-all, end-all answer to anyone who would dare to question their own anger. Righteous anger, we call it.
The problem is that most of the time Jesus Christ was not to be found in the temples with the high and mighty self-serving Pharisees. He was found in the thick of it with people! God was out in the world with the average person. More than that, He was with people that 'better' society rejected reaching, drawing, teaching, exhorting, encouraging, welcoming... you find Christ the man with his arms out all through the NT! We in the IFB have lost the draw! We don't yearn for the souls zealously. We do not put our time and effort into people we deem 'unworthy'. "Such were some of ye!", but we forget!
I weep with joy, I tremble all over when I think of the earthly example of God the man! We preach Christ like the wrath of God the father is all there is to Him. We talk about grace, but not in a very real way. We talk about grace in the past tense! God showed us grace... why yes! Yes He did! We don't talk so much about the fact that He is STILL merciful and STILL shows grace. Why not? We are afraid that people will take advantage of His grace and live an unchanged life. This death grip on the need for lifestyle changes can easily lead us to withhold grace from one another. If a brother or sister has different standards than us, we see this as an example (or fruit) of them backsliding.
We are missing out on SO much when we reject the example of Christ Himself for the hard core following of the OT laws! He LOVES us! God LOVES us, but we are afraid to say so for fear of being seen as a too-liberal Christian. I will say again that not every person is like this. In fact, I know more good churches than bad. The stirring and reviving of hearts IS happening. The world doesn't know it, and so they judge us for our predecessors. That is okay, though. They do not know better. We are changing, and in time it will be evident.
Lord, help us! Help us as our generation seeks you! Help us to be lead, challenged, and discipled by older generations. Help them not to be upset and feel threatened by our search for Christ - for the true Christ! Open our hearts to your truth! Open our arms to the lost, and oh, oh Lord, open our arms to each other! :') Help us to bear one another's burdens, not BE one another's burdens.
Anyway, here is the article she shared:
http://reversediscipleship.blogspot.com/2014/03/what-happened-to-us.html
My reaction to this article is strong. This man addresses so much of what my generation has been expressing. I know that a lot of us (adults in our thirties) are breaking away from the strict, formidable stereotype of our predecessors. In the comments section, the author addressed pastors. He said,
"May I take a moment and thank all the excellent Pastors who have stayed independent in their practice and fundamental in their beliefs while continuing to love and encourage their people to grow with Christ. This article is in no way meant to discourage those good men."
My pastor is one such man. Gracious, loving, kind, humble (there is one trait we miss a lot in the IFB)... he is a wonderful guy and a true example of what a shepherd should be.
I was born and raised an IFB preacher's kid. I married a man who became an evangelist, and for now is a church member who preaches where he can. I have worn the shackles of man-created, man-glorifying standards my entire life. I wore them joyfully, and did not perceive them as shackles. I knew what "real Christians" look like, and I looked like all of them.
My spouse and I experienced horrific spiritual abuse ten years ago. It took five years after that for the glass bubble I was living in to shatter, and the mud to be scraped from my eyes. In my deepest time of depression and despair, it was people I were taught were the 'wrong kind of Christians' who saw and tended my brokenness and my needs. I am IFB, my husband intends to stay IFB, but we are no longer the same. We are changed, and we attend a church of changed people serving with a changed pastor.
In years past, I have seen the pattern repeating all around me in our IFB world. The broken are condemned for breaking, and kicked while they are down. I have watched dear friends being battered until they flee - yes, flee - their churches for the abuse they were under during their time of need. They weren't even sinning! They were hurting, and in turn for their pain were flogged and mistreated, heartlessly turned on and left in a heap. I have supported these friends with every fiber of my being because I know what that abuse feels like.
Where Christ would draw us in, we would keep one another at arm's length for fear of being dragged down. We are so convinced of the rightness of our works, that, while we believe they do not save us, we believe them to be evidence of that salvation. Fruits of the spirit, we call these standards we cling to. We work really hard and in many cases believe that we are the same at home as we are in church, because really do try SO hard to be pious. Many, many of us are not "Sunday only" Christians.
The problem is that what we are, to our shock, judgmental on one side and secretive on the other. We wear a mask of 'strength'. We hide our imperfections so that we can be a good testimony to other people, completely missing the point that the unchanging theme through the Bible is of God using imperfect people! God uses our infirmities for His glory, yet we are so wrapped up in standards... and in enforcing them... that we do not reveal the cracks! Worse yet, we call this strength! Where God says to "Bear ye one another's burdens", we spend our days 'sucking it up'. We call those who do air their pains and concerns 'dramatic', or figure they are seeking attention. We take pride in our independence and self sustaining.
There is life in the blood, there is power in the blood, and yet we are afraid to expose the wounds! :'(
The severe and heartless condemnation of one another is more Pharisee than child of God. It has taken time, study, repentance and something else that I did not know how to accomplish... acceptance of God's grace... for me to reach this place where I *hope* I am more like the living example of Christ. I am still changing. Every day, every week, every month, every year I am changing and I hope, growing in Christ.
It is easy to get hung up on the wrathful and vengeful God. After all, we do not preach a loving God; we preach an Almighty God. This God we preach handles His. He is not just love and cupcakes and rainbows. God the Father has shown wrath to the world, it is true! We preach heartily about His wrath, His anger, His chastisement of His children, but we ignore the living example of humanity that He gave us. Jesus Christ!
"For God so love the world that He sent his Son"
Yes! Yes, He did! God's son was not just sent do die, though! I believe wholeheartedly that He was sent as an example of what humanity - Christian humanity - aught to look like! He overthrew the tables in the temple ONCE!!! ONCE!! Why? Because His house was being used improperly! I know Christians who justify all kinds of bad behavior on the premise that God got angry. They drag out His temple-tossing like the be-all, end-all answer to anyone who would dare to question their own anger. Righteous anger, we call it.
The problem is that most of the time Jesus Christ was not to be found in the temples with the high and mighty self-serving Pharisees. He was found in the thick of it with people! God was out in the world with the average person. More than that, He was with people that 'better' society rejected reaching, drawing, teaching, exhorting, encouraging, welcoming... you find Christ the man with his arms out all through the NT! We in the IFB have lost the draw! We don't yearn for the souls zealously. We do not put our time and effort into people we deem 'unworthy'. "Such were some of ye!", but we forget!
I weep with joy, I tremble all over when I think of the earthly example of God the man! We preach Christ like the wrath of God the father is all there is to Him. We talk about grace, but not in a very real way. We talk about grace in the past tense! God showed us grace... why yes! Yes He did! We don't talk so much about the fact that He is STILL merciful and STILL shows grace. Why not? We are afraid that people will take advantage of His grace and live an unchanged life. This death grip on the need for lifestyle changes can easily lead us to withhold grace from one another. If a brother or sister has different standards than us, we see this as an example (or fruit) of them backsliding.
We are missing out on SO much when we reject the example of Christ Himself for the hard core following of the OT laws! He LOVES us! God LOVES us, but we are afraid to say so for fear of being seen as a too-liberal Christian. I will say again that not every person is like this. In fact, I know more good churches than bad. The stirring and reviving of hearts IS happening. The world doesn't know it, and so they judge us for our predecessors. That is okay, though. They do not know better. We are changing, and in time it will be evident.
Lord, help us! Help us as our generation seeks you! Help us to be lead, challenged, and discipled by older generations. Help them not to be upset and feel threatened by our search for Christ - for the true Christ! Open our hearts to your truth! Open our arms to the lost, and oh, oh Lord, open our arms to each other! :') Help us to bear one another's burdens, not BE one another's burdens.
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